Stop Workplace Bullying
by Mindy Pelton
Namie, Shea and Lloyd agree that confronting a bully on the first encounter provides the greatest opportunity for derailment. But it is not always clear bullying has occurred.
If there is any doubt, trust your gut.
“If it doesn’t feel good, it probably isn’t,” Shea warns.
“Don’t play a role,” she said about what to do when confronting a bully. Refuse to participate in or reinforce abusive behavior.
“After all, there can be no bully if there is no victim,” she said.
Lloyd suggests the following:
• Characterize the behavior, not the person. Don’t call the person a “bully.” Say, “Stop it! I’m not going to put up with [list behaviors].”
• Describe your reaction to the behavior. Tell the bully, “Your behavior is hurtful and making my life miserable.”
• List possible consequences. Say, “If this doesn’t stop right now, I’m going to take further action.” Such action would be reporting the abuse to an agent of authority or getting legal help.
Namie suggests dealing with bullying in the workplace by:
• Naming the behavior. Left unidentified, people are more likely to self-blame.
• Take respite time. Separate yourself from work to assess your mental and physical health and legal options. Has the bully violated any policies? Make your case against the bully from a business perspective.
• Expose the bully. Inform your employer, for the sake of your own mental health.