Working in the Corporate World
4 self-esteem busters
by Deb Kloeppel, MSCCN (Military Spouse Corporate Career Network)
Corporate recruiters are trained to detect applicants with low-self-esteem issues and grandiose attitudes. Don’t fall into victim mode or blame mode when interviewing for a job. Chatty applicants don’t get hired.
The MSCCN wants to provide some awareness tips to help you become totally focused when moving toward an important job interview. Corporate recruiters pick up on the underlying feelings of their applicants. In what environment besides paid therapy are you one-on-one with a stranger talking about yourself? A job interview is not therapy. As elementary as this sounds, many qualified applicants are overlooked because they treat job interviews like therapy sessions.
When money becomes a problem in the military marriage, everything in the military marriage becomes a problem. Typically, this motivates a spouse to seek employment. Be on the lookout, there are a few key self-esteem busters that could get you overlooked:
1. Losing ones sense of self is the number one self-esteem buster. Military installations are set up to look alike, with the same lifestyle motions repeated over and over again. That’s the point. Structure in a military marriage nests the military family in a comfort zone after a PCS. On the downside, however, the burden of zero acquaintances in your new location can give you a sense of isolation. A job can give the spouse time away from the military routine and provide the military marriage a new civilian support system in the community.
2. Lack of fulfillment is the second self-esteem buster. Most spouses who want to work, and even those who have to work, find great joy in producing and developing something for pay. Contributing financially to the military household is paramount for military spouses who want to continue their career paths or to re-enter and/or initiate their career staging process.
3. Shoving your destiny into the closet is the third self-esteem buster. Spouses become weary when they have to start all over in their communities and commands after a PCS. Often, the spouse gave up a great job to move. Boredom gives way to resentment. Resentment gives way to low self-esteem. Low self-esteem experienced by a military spouse sets the marriage up for all kinds of problems.
4. Zero control of your destiny as a military spouse is the fourth self-esteem buster. Some spouses believe that command structure chips away at their identity slowly over a long period. Military spouses are defined mostly by the commands to which their sponsors are attached. A simple question such as “Who is she with?” in military terms translates to “What unit or squadron is her sponsor attached to?” You never hear this type of “spouse branding” in the corporate culture—unless she’s the CEO’s wife.
Again, a job can help balance the loss of identity. When you’re in front of that corporate recruiter, compartmentalize everything else in your life. Do not leave your military culture behind, however. The MSCCN employer network depends on the great work ethic that military spouses bring to the table. A job interview is not a therapy session; it’s a race for the best. Corporations can afford to be very particular these days. Make yourself competitive; make yourself stand out appropriately.