Why Military Members Volunteer to Deploy
Understanding why they make the choice
by Jessica Drake
Marrying a military man means on some level accepting the possibility that he will miss the birth of a child, school plays or holidays. The military lifestyle eats into family time. He does not always have to give it up, but he would pack his bags and be on the plane tonight, given the opportunity to join the fight.
Extreme Loyalty
The desire to participate is part of the military ethos. Maj. John Hedrick, an Air Force Battle Manager, remembered volunteering on September 11, 2001 without the usual consultation with his wife. His initial efforts were fruitless. “I had to sit at my desk and go through the motions as all the other officers around me geared up to plan execute the war,” he wrote in an email. “Then watching the ‘shock and awe’ on TV was almost more than I could bear.”
President Dwight D. Eisenhower begged to be sent overseas during World War I. “I felt that in the nebulous region called the War Department, I had been found wanting,” he recalled in his autobiography “At Ease: Stories I Tell to Friends”. His career recovered from missing the war, largely because he was an excellent troop trainer. He served as supreme allied commander in World War II and was elected President of the United States in 1952.
Mixed Emotions
Many service members may think, “I am needed there.” The desire to go is more often a private reflection a soldier shares with a spouse, close friend, or mentor.
Non-deployed service members may wonder what to say and do when a buddy is killed in combat. The non-deployed troop really wants to say, “I wish I had been there with him. Maybe I could have made a difference and saved him.” The feeling of guilt can take root. Instead, he tells the youngsters how much their dad loved them and their mom. He commends their father’s leadership.
Commander’s Insight
Warriors not in the fight may feel hollow in their status because they are not combat-tested, said Marine Col. James F. Jamison stationed at Little Creek Amphibious Base, Va. They must be reminded that their jobs are important to the war effort.
The best thing a spouse can offer is a listening ear. “Don’t look at it as a choice,” Jamison recommended. “There is a time and place for everything. … It is not that he wants to leave you. He wants to be tested.”
A burning commitment to a noble cause leads men to fight. They may talk about defense of their homeland and way of life or loyalty to the men at their side in combat. The real motivation is more personal. It is honor. Four hundred years ago, British citizen Richard Lovelace wrote a poem about this. The famous last line of “To Lucasta, Going to the Wars” rings true today: “I could not love thee, dear, so much,/Lov’d I not Honor more.”