 My Vote for McCain
by Sarah Smiley
This week I sent my absentee ballot – signed, sealed and delivered – to Florida with my vote for Senator John McCain for President of the United States.
I have never experienced an election that has polarized people – friends and even families – this much, so I share my vote with you knowing that it might ostracize me from many of my liberal friends, especially in the writing world. My vote might also (wrongly) be perceived as "robotic" and expected because I am a military dependent. Indeed, an overwhelming majority of military families (nearly 3:1 according to a recent Military Times poll) support McCain. But the right-leaning stance isn't issued with our spouse's seabag anymore than a left-leaning view is handed to a journalist with their pen and paper. And after all, one of the freedoms my husband protects through his service to the country is my right to have – and express – an opinion.
Therefore, it is in that capacity – as both a military dependent and a free and thinking American – that I will explain how I arrived at my vote for McCain.
Military families know what it means to be dependent on the government.
There is an old saying in the military that goes like this, "We (the military) are protecting democracy, not practicing it." It is funny, but also true in many ways. The military dictates where my husband will live, where he will fight (it doesn't matter if he agrees with the mission or not), how he will behave (on duty or off), and even how he will wear his hair. The military is the last institution that can discriminate based on weight, eye sight, disabilities, moral character, and basically anything else that it deems not conducive to the mission.
For all its control, however, the military as a whole does not select its leader, even though the new president directly affects the military's mission and becomes every service man or woman's new boss. The People elect a leader and that leader commands the military.
Most military members have not experienced the severe loss of freedoms that McCain did when he was a POW, but it might be argued that they realize on a daily basis what it's like to be so entwined with the government that you are dependent upon it. They know what it's like to need the government for your paycheck, your health care, and even your housing.
If we are to trust and judge by the Military Times poll, what the service men and women are telling us, through their selection of the candidate in favor of less government, is that they want something different for you: their America. They have chosen and volunteered to live and work in an environment that is often not democratic so that you can live within the protection of the government without being dependent on it for your livelihood and success.
My husband didn't volunteer to serve so that Obama can be "tested."
Last week in Seattle, Sen. Biden guaranteed ("mark my words," he said) that our enemies will be emboldened by an Obama presidency, due to Obama's inexperience and youth, and that they will "test" us within the first six months of 2009, much like they "tested" President Kennedy during his first six months in office, which, of course, led to the Berlin Wall and the Cuban Missile Crisis.
Not coincidentally, the aforementioned Military Times poll shows that active duty service members overwhelmingly support McCain, not Obama, for president. The men and women in the armed forces, including my husband, know they will be the ones who have to respond if our enemies "test" Obama.
I read recently that national security and the war in Iraq are no longer most Americans' chief concerns in this election. The economy is.
Really?
REALLY?
Clearly the people polled don't have a loved one in the armed services. Clearly they don't have young children who they hope never see our country "tested" by our enemies again.
Let's forget for a moment that during his gaffe in Seattle, Biden also assured us that Obama's presidency will quickly become unpopular. His decisions won't seem like the "right ones" or the "popular ones," Biden said, but then went on to note that popular ideas are rarely good ideas. Interesting considering Obama's plans for the economy and national security are the popular ones in this race for the White House. Is Obama's running mate telling us that McCain's unpopular ideas are actually the good ones? Is Biden telling us that Obama is only promising popular ideas right now, but once he is in office he will actually have to adopt McCain's less popular, more sound ideas? Is that why Biden is telling us Obama will be unpopular once he is in office? Or, is it because then we will finally see just how unprepared Obama is when the world "tests" us?
More importantly, will any of this matter when it is our husbands and wives in the armed services who have to respond to that test?
In my neighborhood there are signs that read "Support the Troops: End the War." As we get set to elect a new president and thereby choose the military's new commander, I look at the Military Times poll and wonder, might it be more apropos to say, "Support the Troops: Vote McCain"?
Read the viewpoint of a military spouse who is voting for Senator Barack Obama: My Vote for Obama
Related Articles:My Vote for ObamaPalin is a WomanPresident-elect Obama; Reflections from a McCain SupporterPresident-elect Obama; Reflections from an Obama Supporter
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User comments:| Coco | 10/29/2008 5:40:49 PM | McCain would of had my vote 100%, if he hadn't picked Sarah Palin who is completely clueless.
| | Amyln | 10/29/2008 10:53:13 PM | Very well put! I couldn't agree with you more. Just yesterday I was approached by someone who asked me what the military point of view was as she proceeded to tell me she was leaning toward McCain. I commend you for writing this article when this election is so up in the air. I pray that America makes the rite choice for our country, John McCain.
| | Deanie | 10/30/2008 1:13:14 AM | Well written!
| | MrsD | 10/30/2008 9:41:54 AM | Unfortunately, instead of telling us the wonderful things John McCain and Sarah Palin will do for this country, you -- like nearly everyone else who is voting for them -- concentrate on Obama. How can you vote for a candidate whose attributes are so negligble that everyone must concentrate on their perceptions of the opponent's flaws?
Whatever happened to "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all"? McCain supporters need to learn to spend their time pumping up their candidate rather than badmouthing their opponent.
Someone tell me what he is going to do for the country - what he is going to do for ME. So far, I see him raising my taxes, taking away my insurance and keeping the war going indefinitely.
And, yes, for those who would ask, we are military, but National Guard, so our livelihood depends on the private sector which is exactly where McCain will hit the hardest.
| | Mia | 10/30/2008 11:55:56 AM | Well written, but I totally disagree. As the wife of a 30 year retired Marine and the mother of a new soldier in the US Army I don't believe Senator McCain is best for our military or our country. His choice of Sarah Palin is disgraceful! That decision certainly was not country first.
I respect Senator McCain's service to our country but I don't respect his voting record on Veterans issues. I don't respect that he did not support the 21st Century GI Bill. I don't respect that he continues to say the surge is working knowing that the political in roads have not been made which is why the situation is so fragile and our troops won't be able to come home as soon as we would like. I don't respect that he says our troops will come home in "honor" when victory is achieved. Our TROOPS WILL COME HOME IN HONOR NO MATTER WHAT!
Senator McCain has repeatedly voted against increases for veterans' health care. When I speak with his supporters they will say because the bills were full of pork, yet he voted for this $700 billion dollar bailout, he voted for everyone of President Bush's budgets which were full of pork, so it seems to me he could have voted for those bills that would have increased funding to the VA hospitals.
Google Senator McCain's rating's from Disabled American Veterans or Veterans of Foreign Wars and Veterans for America and you will see Senator McCain's support for veterans via his votes not his conversation leave a lot to be desired.
| | Shana | 10/30/2008 12:14:19 PM | I couldn't disagree more. Senator McCain does not support the troops or Military Families - he does not even care what I go through as a spouse. He opposed the GI Bill as "too generous" and has repeatedly voted against VA funding. He seems to think that my son never knowing his father - due to his incessant deployments - is okay. I don't. I think my husband's commitment to serve should be respected - he shouldn't have to be deployed or in the field nearly all of the time like he is now. My father was in the Army and I grew up on base - and things were NEVER like this. I want a President that uses the Military responsibly, and takes into account what it is like for the families left behind. Michelle Obama has championed Military Families - while the McCains are completely silent.
| | Brianne | 10/30/2008 12:50:15 PM | I have to be honest - I don't understand your article. You say that military families need strong government support, then say that McCain is less government? But since a Military Times poll heavily leans towards McCain, then that's the reason to vote for him? And about Biden's remarks - Lieberman said the same thing about both candidates - that new presidents are often tested.
I would have liked you to actually speak about why you are voting for McCain rather than why you are not voting for Obama.
| | kungfuscribble | 10/30/2008 1:39:51 PM | Mc Cain is against more government, yet the military and it's members depend on said government. Hummm!
So why did you vote Mc Cain?
Let’s say why it seems most military members end up voting Republican shall we... The New Republican party uses bullying, and intimidation tactics by way of fear in the work place (Yes, check your local hangar, cubical etc) by excluding those that do not subscribe to hatemongering, and hate posturing.
Most of us spouses have also had the proud privilege to experience such tactics in our every day military living environment. We are to be seen as helpful little wives who should not speak unless spoken to. (Sorry folks but my gender fought for my right and won in 1920, and my husband goes to work every day to protect my inalienable rights)
I think you would be surprised to find just how many people in the services do not subscribe to the hate dogma that has become the new Republican Party.
Most of us just hang out on the back burner quietly laughing to ourselves and waiting and watching you all burn yourselves out.
So other than hate, intimidation, and fear what does your Candidate offer me and my military family?
I have in black and white what Barack Obama is offering me, my military family, and those in my extended family that have pre-existing health conditions...
Most of us spouses know what it is to hope. Hope is what keeps us going, even when our hands are full and we are up to our eyeballs with tasks we have to tackle all on our own; yet all the while hoping our spouse has been given enough training, gear, and a good leader who can keep them safe. If I lived in the fear based world I would never get out of bed let alone get kids ready for school and keep plugging away.
No fear!
Hope is what I am voting for!
| | Cheryl | 10/30/2008 2:56:49 PM | You'll regret voting for McCain. I wouldn't vote for him if someone gave me a million dollars. We will be going to hell in a handbasket if McCain and Palin win!!!!
| | Lisa | 10/30/2008 5:36:26 PM | Awesome Article! As a military spouse, I completely agree with you. Apparently,several people who posted did not agree, and were down right rude/sarcastic in their comments.
Why is it when differences are pointed out, it is considered "concentrating on Obama" and not on the issues? The issue is WHO will make a better President, therefore the NEED to compare the two is essential. In comparing the two, McCain will be the best Military leader, as opposed to Obama. This, I believe, is what the writer was conveying by discussing comments made by Sen. Biden.
To Brianne, who posted earlier saying 'I don't understand your article'. Did you read this paragraph?
"If we are to trust and judge by the Military Times poll, what the service men and women are telling us, through their selection of the candidate in favor of less government, is that they want something different for you: their America. They have chosen and volunteered to live and work in an environment that is often not democratic so that you can live within the protection of the government without being dependent on it for your livelihood and success."
This is it in a nutshell! This is the 'sacrifice' that Military members and their families make...they choose to live under the tight government rules...To protect, encourage, & support the people of the U.S. This is why our Freedoms are so precious...because Military members have sacrificed their own freedoms in order for everyone else to HAVE freedom - of speech, the pursuit of happiness, freedom of religion, etc.
On another note- Gov. Sarah Palin is not clueless. I happen to have lived in the great State of Alaska for the past 21 years, under several different Governor's... Democrat, Republican, and Independent. Gov. Palin has done an exceptional job in her 2yrs in office. She has accomplished what others thought impossible... taking down corruption. So, unless you've lived in Alaska and have continually kept up with the Politics, you wouldn't have any idea whether Gov. Palin is 'clueless' or an exceptionally great leader, with firm ethics, and an approachable personality to boot. Alaskan's feel impressed by her down-to-earth demeanor. She is trusted and well liked because of the things she has endured before and during her Governorship, and now as the selected VP.
By the way, I love the slogan "Support Our Troops; Vote McCain"!
| | Lisa | 10/30/2008 5:36:33 PM | Awesome Article! As a military spouse, I completely agree with you. Apparently,several people who posted did not agree, and were down right rude/sarcastic in their comments.
Why is it when differences are pointed out, it is considered "concentrating on Obama" and not on the issues? The issue is WHO will make a better President, therefore the NEED to compare the two is essential. In comparing the two, McCain will be the best Military leader, as opposed to Obama. This, I believe, is what the writer was conveying by discussing comments made by Sen. Biden.
To Brianne, who posted earlier saying 'I don't understand your article'. Did you read this paragraph?
"If we are to trust and judge by the Military Times poll, what the service men and women are telling us, through their selection of the candidate in favor of less government, is that they want something different for you: their America. They have chosen and volunteered to live and work in an environment that is often not democratic so that you can live within the protection of the government without being dependent on it for your livelihood and success."
This is it in a nutshell! This is the 'sacrifice' that Military members and their families make...they choose to live under the tight government rules...To protect, encourage, & support the people of the U.S. This is why our Freedoms are so precious...because Military members have sacrificed their own freedoms in order for everyone else to HAVE freedom - of speech, the pursuit of happiness, freedom of religion, etc.
On another note- Gov. Sarah Palin is not clueless. I happen to have lived in the great State of Alaska for the past 21 years, under several different Governor's... Democrat, Republican, and Independent. Gov. Palin has done an exceptional job in her 2yrs in office. She has accomplished what others thought impossible... taking down corruption. So, unless you've lived in Alaska and have continually kept up with the Politics, you wouldn't have any idea whether Gov. Palin is 'clueless' or an exceptionally great leader, with firm ethics, and an approachable personality to boot. Alaskan's feel impressed by her down-to-earth demeanor. She is trusted and well liked because of the things she has endured before and during her Governorship, and now as the selected VP.
By the way, I love the slogan "Support Our Troops; Vote McCain"!
| | Lisa | 10/30/2008 5:37:21 PM | Awesome Article! As a military spouse, I completely agree with you. Apparently,several people who posted did not agree, and were down right rude/sarcastic in their comments.
Why is it when differences are pointed out, it is considered "concentrating on Obama" and not on the issues? The issue is WHO will make a better President, therefore the NEED to compare the two is essential. In comparing the two, McCain will be the best Military leader, as opposed to Obama. This, I believe, is what the writer was conveying by discussing comments made by Sen. Biden.
To Brianne, who posted earlier saying 'I don't understand your article'. Did you read this paragraph?
"If we are to trust and judge by the Military Times poll, what the service men and women are telling us, through their selection of the candidate in favor of less government, is that they want something different for you: their America. They have chosen and volunteered to live and work in an environment that is often not democratic so that you can live within the protection of the government without being dependent on it for your livelihood and success."
This is it in a nutshell! This is the 'sacrifice' that Military members and their families make...they choose to live under the tight government rules...To protect, encourage, & support the people of the U.S. This is why our Freedoms are so precious...because Military members have sacrificed their own freedoms in order for everyone else to HAVE freedom - of speech, the pursuit of happiness, freedom of religion, etc.
On another note- Gov. Sarah Palin is not clueless. I happen to have lived in the great State of Alaska for the past 21 years, under several different Governor's... Democrat, Republican, and Independent. Gov. Palin has done an exceptional job in her 2yrs in office. She has accomplished what others thought impossible... taking down corruption. So, unless you've lived in Alaska and have continually kept up with the Politics, you wouldn't have any idea whether Gov. Palin is 'clueless' or an exceptionally great leader, with firm ethics, and an approachable personality to boot. Alaskan's feel impressed by her down-to-earth demeanor. She is trusted and well liked because of the things she has endured before and during her Governorship, and now as the selected VP.
By the way, I love the slogan "Support Our Troops; Vote McCain"!
| | Lisa | 10/30/2008 5:48:56 PM | Sorry for the three posts...I did not get confirmation that the comment had been posted.
| | Brianne | 10/30/2008 9:33:21 PM | Lisa,
I think all of "military members and our families" have sacrificed whether we believe that we are "defending freedom." I'm not sure how Iraq ever threatened our freedom, and I can't blindly believe that no matter where my husband is sent, it must be the right decision. I am very bothered by the fact that McCain has consistently voted against funding for veterans' disabilities and research. I can't wrap up my husband's OIF service in a neat little package; there is much more to what a combat veteran goes through than just being proud for fighting for freedom. These cliches aren't enough for our family. That's just how I see things - it doesn't mean everyone else sees it that way. I also find it kind of strange that you find Palin to be a woman of "strong ethics." In only two years, she's already been found guilty of violating Alaska ethics laws.
| | Lawyer Mama | 10/31/2008 12:38:08 AM | Sarah - A very thoughtful article. However, your vote for McCain seems to be based on your assumption that the Military Times Poll indicates overwhelming support by the military for McCain. But, if you read the methodology of the poll (also posted on the site with the poll), it was far from a scientific sample. The Military Times was careful to note that the poll shouldn't be considered indicative of the views of the military as a whole because the people polled tended to be older, white and retired.
You should check this article out: http://www.pollster.com/blogs/the_army_vote_the_military_tim.php
Jason Dempsey is doing some far more scientific research regarding the "military vote" and it appears that there is no real military vote. Rather, military affiliated people of our generation tend to vote much like the rest of the population.
Now, if I were go into why I think Obama is far more suited than McCain in temperament, intelligence, judgment and yes, *experience* ,to be commander-in-chief, I'd have to write a book.
| | Sandy | 10/31/2008 9:48:56 AM | When someone writes in support of their candidate but uses talking points that denegrate the other candidate, I truly have to wonder if the political thoughts expressed are well thought out or merely ideological. You are trying to say that you are not a party line voter because of the "military bent" but I think you are only misleading yourself. My husband has served 24 years in the Navy and endured years of seperations because of the mis-use of his volunteerism. He has voted for the very first time for a Democrat because he thinks there's a chance that diplomacy will replace military might where approproate. It's time to reclaim our military to fight for us and not foreign oil. There are no good reasons to be fighting in Iraq when they did not attack us. And if that will be the policy of the next Republican adminstration, well, we as military spouses have every right to worry about their safety because there are a lot of really, really bad guys out there. Luckily, the other "bad guys" like Saddam Hussein don't have oil or we would have had to proactively protect ourselves from them as well. We are not a nation of pre-emptive warriors. We should never have become that nation and it's time to bring our soldiers and sailors (who signed up for fight in the desert??) home - not in defeat but in the name of PEACE.
| | helen | 10/31/2008 2:34:42 PM | Surprisingly I am an undecided voter! I have read both the articles on why to vote for each candidate and read everyones comments. I have issues with voting for both candidates. I am in a hard spot because I am not crazy about either of them. I would consider myself more liberal than conservative. I vote independent and not for party lines. If we are only going to judge this election by who supports abortion rights then I am pro choice and would not vote McCain. I think that a woman should be able to decide what to do with her body. I do not condone abortion being used as birth control!! And I do think partial birth abortion should be against the law. But enough already with the debate about abortion there are bigger issues out there. I am sick and tired of the candidates bashing each other!!! Get to the issues and tell me what you are going to do for me. I am sick of being told that if I don't vote for Obama then I am a racist. Race has nothing to do with it. I just don't like the guy. I think if he were really going to change things in the government then he would have not picked Biden to run with him. This is a guy who has been in Washington for a long time and is part of the curruption. So what is the change in picking him? And I don't think that McCain made a very good choice picking Palin. I think that she is inexperience (just like Obama) and I think it was just a ploy to get the women to vote for him. Did he think women were stupid? So I have four days to figure out who to vote for because if I don't vote I have no reason to complain! With all the comments that I have been reading I see people doing the same thing the candidates are and bashing each other. Maybe we should all vote for Nader?? Just a thought for all of us undecided voters.
| | TLCESQ | 10/31/2008 4:44:48 PM | Sarah, I respectfully disagree with your piece. Both candidates have been tested -- on their selection of VPs and on their response to the financial crisis in October. Who made the better choices? The candidate who claimed to have suspended his campaign? Which VP candidate is more qualified? At the very least, McCain has failed both tests miserably. The thought of seeing him in the White House is frightening.
Now, as it relates to their records, please explain why McCain supports the military and their families when he didn't vote for the GI bill or voted multiple times against funding the VA, TBI, PTSD, etc.? I guess it's okay to vote "yes" to send our servicemembers into harm's way with inadequate equipment, not enough resources or manpower, and then to vote "no" to help them upon their return? Please. The military deserves better than that and, in that respect, Obama is the better candidate. DAV thinks so, as does Iraqi and Afghanistan Veterans of America, among others. Obama is the only choice for the military.
| | Lisa | 10/31/2008 10:08:26 PM | Here's a quote from the Anchorage Daily News, which recently came out in support of Barrack Obama:
"The legislative inquiry found that Monegan's firing was proper but the pressure to fire the trooper, Mike Wooten, was not. McCain campaign spokesman Taylor Griffin says Palin stands by her decision to fire Monegan and her concerns about Wooten." Palin was not 'convicted' of anything, the firing was legitimate. So, again, I say she is a woman of strong ethics. Wouldn't you look to fire a State Trooper who tazered your 12yr old son for no reason, and who sat in his squad vehicle, beer in hand? It would concern me more if this DIDN'T bother Sarah Palin. Nevermind that it was her brother-in-law...where's the common sense concerning this issue? Another point to mention is the fact that we were attacked by terrorists on September 11, 2001, were we not? These terrorists were found to be working from Iraq, a major 'hub'. Isn't this the reason our troops are in Iraq? Isn't this where Sadaam Hussein was caught and reckoned with by the local government? Also, please don't forget that Obama voted against additional funding for the military...he would never have 'chosen' to support our troops through funding. If the troops had been brought home earlier/immediately, as Obama wanted, the war would be fought here in the U.S. instead of Iraq. Is this what people prefer? That we endure the war on our 'turf'? The terrorists 'drug' us into this mess...they attacked first. What would you have done as opposed to what President Bush AND CONGRESS chose to do? Would you have gone to war? Do you remember the devastation our Nation felt during this time? I, for one, will trust a man who has 'been there done that', over a man who is still 'wet behind the ears'. Obama's actions, over his 100+ days in congress, have spoken louder than any of his eloquent speeches. He's not a centrist, he's not conservative, he's an extreme leftest.
| | joss | 11/3/2008 12:44:39 PM | The Military Times poll frustrates me. I wanted to participate in it, but couldn't without a subscription. I, and all the other young folk I know, read it daily online and don't have a subscription. I wonder to what extent the poll just captured the opinions of a particular demographic within the military.
| | Sandy | 11/3/2008 1:52:32 PM | This is to Lisa - please check again because you are very mistaken. The people who attacked us on 9/11 were based from Afghanistan - the majorty of them were actually Saudi in origin (and the Bush family/government has been very friendly with the Saudis dispite this) and none of them were Iraqi. That was the BIG LIE told my the Bush adminstration to get us into the war and NONE of it turned out to be true. Please research that yourself and don't just take my word for it. All that said, that's not the mean there are no "bad guys" in Iraq, but unfortunately the war has brought more of them in than it got out. It is the very plan itself that is/was flawed. And, regardless of what we think now, we are in it and we have to find a way out because we have bankrupted our country as a result of this mis-guided effort and we cannot afford to remain in a "Bush Doctrine" philosophy that says we can attack if we think there's a chance of attack. The one thing I teach my teenager is that if someone wants to fight with him, he should kill them with kindness, but prepare just in case for the fight. We have to find a way for diplomatic efforts. I wish McCain was the guy we could count on for that but his warrior mentality does not appear to be in that mode. He lost himself along the way here and is not the man he used to be and his tactics toward the end here are just embarrassing to him and his future. I think we can disagree in a friendly manner with who is the best for the job but we certainly should not use mis-information to base our votes.
| | joss | 11/3/2008 3:52:33 PM | @ helen
I know what you mean about being an undecided voter. That was me in 2000, when I didn't want Bush or Gore (I wanted McCain). In the end, neither of them (or the 3rd party candidates) could get me to the voting booth, so nobody got my vote.
If I were undecided now, this article wouldn't really help me see why I should vote for McCain. I can't make sense of her first reason and the second is just more "be afraid."
| | Lisa | 11/3/2008 10:16:50 PM | Just a quick note, especially to Brianne...Isn't it great that Sarah Palin was officially found not guilty of the 'Troopergate' scandal today? It's great timing. As for the Iraq War - The U.S. chose to go to Iraq because it is where the terrorists ran to, regardless if it 'started in Afghanistan', the 'bad guys' ended up in Iraq...Osama Bin Laden, Sadaam Hussein, to name just a couple of them. So, it is not entirely incorrect, therefore not misinformation. I may have 'jumped forward' a bit, but the truth is they were followed to Iraq. No room for some supposed "Big Bush lie". We can respectfully disagree and it's nice to share my opinions. McCain is the best choice.
| | joss | 11/3/2008 10:24:25 PM | @Lisa
I just saw that too! (Independent counsel clears Palin of ethics charges, NYTimes):
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/04/us/politics/04palin.html?_r=1&hp&oref=slogin
About Iraq though: I don't think Saddam "ran" to Iraq; he was there to begin with. And I though Bin Laden was in Pakistan with the rest of them?
| | helen | 11/4/2008 12:37:54 PM | Joss: I agree with you on the election in 2000. I wanted McCain at that time as well. I did vote this morning before I came to work and I did not decide until I was at the voting machine. I feel I made the right decision voting for McCain. Thanks to the internet I did a lot of research and soul searching and made my choice.
| | GrapeApeArmyWife | 11/7/2008 11:53:26 AM | I agree with you whole heartedly. Would they put a 5 star general over the troops that just walked off the street basically...NO. But yet we will put a Commander and Chief in there that has no clue. Sorry to say I think we are in for a bumpy ride.
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The military service etiquette we abide by today is steeped in several hundred years of U.S. history. Many rules change over time as the military updates codes of conduct to reflect new attitudes and etiquette. |
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