Relationships - Do’s and don’ts while in uniform

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Do’s and don’ts while in uniform

by Whitney Bailey

The military service etiquette we abide by today is steeped in several hundred years of U.S. history. Many rules change over time as the military updates codes of conduct to reflect new attitudes and etiquette. However, some traditions still exist that may seem a bit antiquated (or even unfair) to you, the spouse.

When reviewing the list below, keep in mind that maintenance of these rules allows service members to project professionalism. These rules apply to your service member anytime he is in uniform, but many also apply to you when you are you attending a military function or in public with your uniformed hubby.

Do:

Walk on your husband’s left side so he can salute others.

Refer to your spouse by his first name or nickname, or as “my husband.” Do not refer to your husband as “Capt. Smith” or “the Captain.”

Stand at a public function or ceremony when the senior officer enters and is announced. This applies to everyone in attendance.

Offer your husband an umbrella in the rain, but only if it’s black. He’s not allowed to carry any other color.

Push the baby carriage or stroller so your spouse doesn’t have to. It’s considered “unmilitary” to do so while in uniform.

Help your spouse carry any packages or bundles to make it easier for him to salute. (Are you wondering if a man made up these rules so that wives would have to do all the heavy lifting?)

Don’t:

Show public displays of affection, except at homecomings and goodbyes. This includes kissing and holding hands.

Offer your spouse a piece of gum. It is not “military” for him to chew it. The same goes for smoking while in uniform.

Allow him to put his hands in his pockets unless he is placing or retrieving an item.

Refer to your husband’s orders as “our orders” unless you are a service member yourself.

Offer him food or drink while he’s walking. He should not be eating, drinking or using a cell phone while walking in uniform.

Refer to others in the service as “sir” or “ma’am,” even if your spouse does. Refer to them by their rank and last name (“Capt. Smith”).

Allow your child to wear your spouse’s uniform for Halloween. Uniforms bearing insignia, badges and tabs should be worn only by authorized personnel.

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User comments:

gijane	11/16/2007 11:28:37 AM
Thanks for this article. After 15 years I found out why my husband felt "funny" when he was pushing the baby stroller.
proudtobemilitaryspouse	12/5/2007 7:30:49 PM
Ironically-my husband is in Seattle, WA on business and it's been during the whole big rain storm this last weekend. Now, I can relate now to why since it's now occured to me through this article that the reason my husband never accepts an umbrella is because he can't! I don't own a black umbrella- and now, I know why he says when I ask if he wants to use my umbrella- his answer is: "no thank you, honey, I'm a soldier."
nsouf17	1/12/2008 9:43:46 PM
This is article is very good infromation, however, why is it considered "unmilitary" for my husband to push a baby stroller. What if he was picking the child up from day care on post in uniform and I was at work. I guess I just feel that the military should be more condusive to "families" and not just the "soldiers" especially since our husband's have to be away on deployments for so long, maybe the children want their daddy to push them, and or maybe I want to alwasy hold my husband's hand since we've been separated by duty, regardless if he is in uniform or not. Just a few thoughts!
Crescenda	1/23/2008 11:50:20 PM
This was a great piece of advice. My husband is just now getting into the military. I did not know spouses also had rules that we had to abide. At least I know ahead of time before I get in there.
dsladyvet	1/30/2008 11:30:52 AM
Good article. So what do you do with the stroller when both parents are military and in uniform? How about the lower ranking one (my husband) doing the pushing!
AFStrykerWife	2/7/2008 6:18:33 PM
What a great article! After 8 yrs active duty myself I never realized that this information isn't common knowledge to other spouses.
navyhusband	2/20/2008 5:56:25 PM
And what if you are the husband and the spouse do you walk on your wifes right side?
mrs underwood	2/28/2008 2:46:46 PM
I'm glad I read these rules because the entire time I thought he was just making this stuff up just to be funny! Haha.
Brandy	3/3/2008 1:30:54 PM
Well it is interesting to learn this because I'm in the service myself and to be honest only about have of these rules are enforced. But this is good to know it explains why I have gotten yelled at a time or two lol.
Shannon Stringfellow	3/3/2008 8:52:09 PM
My Husband recently re enlisted. We've only been at Fort Stewart for about two weeks. Thank you so much, I can already think of a few times I needed this information!
sweet8402	3/4/2008 11:26:28 AM
And for those who like PDA, a soldier is not allowed to hold your hand... BUT he is allowed to escort you (lock elbows) in uniform which is propper.
Classicsuzieq	3/10/2008 9:47:53 PM
Ya no one knows my husband by his first name and i felt weird calling hime by his last soo "my husband" worked just fine for me.... and i need to keep reminding myself walk on his LEFT side. Thanks!
dblabotts	3/10/2008 11:22:22 PM
I felt some of this information was very relavent and helpful, however I know quite a few of these rules that are never followed (i.e. the smoking rule) almost everyone in my husbands unit smokes in uniform. In fact he smoke more there than at home. And how sad they can't update a few of these rules to be more family friendly (i.e. pushing the stroller) that's just ridiculous. But those are just my views, I am glad to have been clued in about the others as I've been married to him for 10 years and never had a clue. Where is our handbook?
Karmin	3/15/2008 12:32:08 AM
I was aware of a few of these, like how to reference them when speaking about them and the PDA. Thank you, sweet8402, I was not aware of the escorting option, which brightens my mood because the two of us both like the world knowing we are together (something simple like holding hands is perfect for this, too much is inappropriate whether or not your significant other is a uniformed soldier or not), and I was upset when he informed me that it was not allowed in uniform. As for the handbook, I did get one. His recruiter's wife was a very nice, very helpful woman when he joined the army, and I have a six inch binder full of just about everything one could imagine. The rest of the rules are helpful, things for me to remember. I grew up with a father in the Air Force, and reading through the "manual" I received, I was surprised to learn how different some things are (like receiving lines!) and the reminders are always helpful!
bobogold	3/27/2008 2:13:03 AM
Hi, My wife (AM-1) told me a lot of stuff like this and I thought she was full of it. I guess not.... I guess the Man thing goes for woman too. ha ha
MRS.WOODS	3/30/2008 6:04:46 PM
but they smoke in their uniforms all the time on and off the ship.
LULU	4/23/2008 4:01:34 PM
Funny my DH is very "by the rules" kinda guy...almost anal about it. (Well actually anal is being kind) yet if our daughter is around he only has eyes for her.. holding her, kissing her, etc....I wonder if he is aware of the rules..think I should ask??? LOL..
jadedangyle	4/30/2008 5:14:06 PM
When "his" orders stop including the whole family, I'll stop calling them "our" orders. Not to mention that noone seems to mind when "he" says "We're Pregnant".
Mrs. Blankenship	5/20/2008 9:34:22 AM
wow! I'm about to become a military wife and I had NO idea about ANY of this! Thanks for the heads up!
ashleyreich	5/25/2008 9:35:19 PM
thanks for that its usefull
Armywife526	5/27/2008 10:28:16 PM
Thanks for this. I am a new military wife and any tips are great!
Huzzah	5/31/2008 12:09:43 PM
There are other things. He/she cannot eat or drink while walking or cuss in uniform. I used to be in ROTC and there were a butt load of things I couldn't do. The uniform regulations are outrageous. Had to make sure very ribbon or ensignia was the proper measurement. It certinally pays to have the experience.
AT3SMWife	6/4/2008 2:06:54 PM
intresting to know. I knew that basics but not that he wasnt allowed to hold hands. we have always. I guess we will continue until he tells me other wise. But packages and eating hmm never knew that. good know this
txladi	6/4/2008 10:03:05 PM
Wow I found this very interesting as well. I have been a military spouse for almost 15 years and I didn't know some of these. I never thought of which side I was walking on when we were together, I HAVE always walked with him arms locked at the elbow in and out of uniform, it is nicer than holding hands because you get to be closer to each other, and it looks more proper. I was certainly raised to be proper. My issue with the walking on his left side thing is... I was raised that a lady always walks on the inside of her DH or boyfriend that way he is protecting her from bodily harm, ie. if you are walking around the block you would be on the inside and he would be by the curb. Does that mean when he is in uniform we can only walk one way??? LOL J/K. My DH alwaysinsists on pushing the grocery cart or before stroller. He is a by the book person so I am not sure he knows that rule, he will not walk and talk on the cell, I thought that was silly, this explains it. Now when it comes to chewing gum, I have a couple of comments, gum gives people better breath ( and some really need it) then there is my mean comment... can guys walk and chew gum at the same time anyway? J/K. That is something I would say to DH though. I am usually very respectful of all of his rules. So thank you for this list, I will make some things known to him, but I wont let him walk without me when he is leaving in less than a week. I guess the military can consider it one really LOOONNGGG goodbye! Blessings
chappyswife	6/4/2008 11:03:37 PM
As a new to the" military family" wife I had no idea of these military standards.No one I have ever been around has shared these things. I had an embarrassing moment the first time I met my husbands Col LT. My husband recieved his commission, was sworn in, and then a group of us went to lunch. I had no idea that you were supposed to wait until the highest ranked officer started to eat. Luckily there was another female officer who apparently did not know this either. It was not made to be a big deal but I still feel really stupid about it. At that time I also was unaware of the whole ranking system and did not realize how important his Lt Col was to his battallion!!!! Thankfully he is a very nice man. I also walked away and told myself that I had to find some info to read to avoid this type of situation again. I googled military ettiquette and several books appeared. I purchased "The Army Wife Handbook" It has all these do's and dont's and a whole lot more. It is definitly worth the money!!!Now I am more prepared for the next time.
CJs_Mommy	6/11/2008 12:27:35 AM
lol...omg, these rules are just ridiculous!
Ava Jynah	6/24/2008 5:19:08 PM
jadedangyle 4/30/2008 5:14:06 PM "When "his" orders stop including the whole family, I'll stop calling them "our" orders. Not to mention that noone seems to mind when "he" says "We're Pregnant". I cannot even tell you hoe much you made me laugh at this. Thanks so much!!!
Goldenbird	6/27/2008 11:51:30 PM
Great information! Thanks a million!
Goldenbird	6/27/2008 11:51:38 PM
Great information! Thanks a million!
Nicole	7/9/2008 11:07:25 AM
I will have to agree with most of these comments.. I am a spouse of a retired soldier who's rank I will leave out. The whole time he was in we never showed affection while he was in uniform except at out military wedding and the time he deployed on a secret mission (being called back early form our honeymoon). He has always walked on the outside as a form of respect he was raised with. He did chew gum but was able to have some manners while doing so. He never smoked but his superiors and subordinates did as well as chewing tobaco. As for eating before the senior officer sits down, go manners are to wait to begin eating until everyone has seated or until the head of the table begins. AS for pushing the baby stoller, my husband retired before our first one was born so I cannot comment on that. the comment about the orders, well if anyone looks at the orders it states on there who is included on the orders (depenents) and well I always referred to them as his orders but WE were stationed at where ever. I believe that a few of these rules were not mentioned like: Only the active duty member not spouse's can park in the spots makred for specific ranks (CSM, General Officer, Post Commander and the like). Another is men/women in uniform are not to be comsumming alcohol before 1700 or after 1830, so don't plan on meeting your spouse for dinner in uniform and expect he/she to have a coktail. The rule about not letting him put his hands in his pockets? Well if he is a good solder/sirmen/sailer he would know not to do that and it is not the spouse who controls that. I never called his commaders (Gen, LtCol or others) by there ranks, I was not in the military he was, I trouduced myself and asked his/her first name, which is proper if you read in the handbook. Ladies/Gentlemen the military has come along way and some of the rules they abide by are simply proper ettiquete and should be followed by all, however there are some outdated and rediculous expectations for the spouses as well.
jensal	7/20/2008 1:15:46 PM
If you think I am about to carry all the packages and push the baby stroller just so some guy can get a salute you have lost your mind.
lcqsmommy	8/12/2008 3:35:10 PM
I found this very interesting and informative. Most of them I was already aware of, even if we don't always follow them. The only one I was not aware of was the baby stroller one, and I find that crazy! There are many active duty members who routinely pick up their children from the CDC directly after leaving work. Not to mention the many families who have more than one small child! I know that my husband has definiely pushed the stroller a time or two in uniform after dr. appointments and such. I am guilty of calling his orders "our orders." I do this all the time.. I figure unless he's planning on going by himself they are OUR orders! LOL But I do understand the point. Thanks for the info!
Bootyjig5	8/21/2008 10:56:48 AM
I've been a military wife for many years and even tho I knew most of the tips, I never knew the umbrella one. I guess you can teach an old dog new tricks!!!!
mathiswife	8/29/2008 1:57:47 AM
Thanks SO much for these! I am a new army wife and I'm glad I got a heads up.
Claudia	8/31/2008 10:38:33 PM
"Push the baby carriage or stroller so your spouse doesn’t have to. It’s considered “unmilitary” to do so while in uniform." Nope, can't agree with this one at all. What if the hubby picks up his kid from the daycare or both parents are active-duty ...
Claudia	8/31/2008 10:40:03 PM
"Refer to your husband’s orders as “our orders” unless you are a service member yourself." Hmm well they are OUR orders, 'cause I am moving too, bite me ;)
missbee416	9/5/2008 12:08:34 PM
In my mind a lot of these seem old-fashioned. Not push a baby stroller because it is "unmilitary" give me a break! I understand being respectful, but my slightly feminist mind read that and was like, "seriously?!"
luvjar97	9/5/2008 7:18:08 PM
Do we have information on where this is documented so I can show some spouses who think I am crazy?? Great info by the way! :)
uncensored	9/11/2008 11:16:55 AM
I'm wondering if all these people are crazy. I think these "rules" are complete bull. My husband can go ahead and be as polite as he wants to in uniform, that will not stop me from grabbing his hand or making him push the baby stroller, and if it's pouring rain and all I have is a neon blue umbrella, he's going to take it. Sorry, this was probably terribly offensive to a lot of people, but I'm sure there are others who feel the way I do.
HaileysMomma22	9/18/2008 3:23:10 PM
I went to visit my BF... we obviously had to walk around a little bit while he was still in uniform... He thought it was funny cause I have NEVER heard of ANY of the rules and I would walk on his left side with my hand at his elbow. Its always been more comfortable like that for me. But I saw LOTS of guys in uniform talking on their cells. Im glad I found this though... Ill have to buy an all black umbrella now. Thank you!
Wilson	9/24/2008 11:44:12 AM
I now understand why my husband says he can't do certain things,but I have seen my husband (he is ARNG) and several others smoke and chew gum in uniform. He also told me he couldn't call me one day because he wasn't able to stand still while on the phone, he had to walk to several places and I thought that was made up. haha! now I know!
Wilson	9/24/2008 11:44:17 AM
I now understand why my husband says he can't do certain things,but I have seen my husband (he is ARNG) and several others smoke and chew gum in uniform. He also told me he couldn't call me one day because he wasn't able to stand still while on the phone, he had to walk to several places and I thought that was made up. haha! now I know!
Laws04	10/2/2008 8:55:44 PM
As a former service member dI do have to say that it is okay to smoke in uniform but just not doing so while walking. Everyone does it and no one cares
tcshy_mommy	10/13/2008 5:58:04 PM
I just cant believe spouses actually do this stupid s*. My husband is in the Army and I be damned if Im gonna do this I didnt sign the papers he did not me and after everything weve been through because of the military i will tell anyone F* you.We have been apart since April of '07 and hes deployed to Iraq now and has another year there so a total of 30 months we c each other about 3 weeks every 6 months how is that right???? its not... I hate the military and Ive never even seen a base except for his Basic Graduation...I HATE THE F*** MILITARY AND i DONT UNDERSTAND HOW SOMEONE WHO REALLY FEELS THEY WILL KILL THEIRSELF STAYS IN F*** IRAQ!!!!!!!...
debnsethforever	10/18/2008 1:50:28 AM
It makes me cringe when I see spouses holding hands while one is in uniform, my husband told me early on that it was a no no. However, I don't hold it against them for doing it because not everyone knows about this, good article.
MichaelsWifey	10/24/2008 7:08:05 PM
When I went to my husbands graduation at Fort Sill, I was scared. I didn't know how to act, what to say, anything. But I think it was around 10 minutes before we got to the ceremony when I received a text message from my husband. It said "Don't run up to me and kiss me when you see me.. just wait until I get to you." I was so hurt. I didn't understand. Especially after the ceremonies other wives and girlfriends did what my husband told me not to do. When he told me later that day it was unmilitary to show PDA, I laughed. But still hurt. Thanks to this article, I now know that he was telling the truth. I feel a little better now knowing what I can and can't do. Oh and thank goodness all I buy is black umberllias I didn't even know that. :)
Mrs. Cooper	11/2/2008 12:59:06 PM
My fiance' is a single parent of 2 and raised his kids since they were babies, I have to diagree with the stroller thing...and I have to say that I really hate the no holding hands thing...I am totally new to the military thing and I don't know one thing about it...He is in the Air Force and is deployed to Iraq...He found out about this website and thought it would be good for me...I think military spouses go through a lot and I don't feel we should have any don'ts...however, I do believe in respect and courtesy...thanks for the article, it helps...
sammiie	11/4/2008 8:04:40 PM
haha, a couple of them are pretty funny, but its good to know! thanks! :)
Mrs.TaylorMade	11/5/2008 11:18:54 AM
Wow do you know how many soldiers i see smoking while in uniform?? I think this is one of those rules that is there but its not inforced
Mrs. Detwiler	12/3/2008 6:25:29 PM
lol this is good to know. I thought my husband was just being cold when he wouldn't let me hold his hand on post. I started to and he was like "can't do that-" and jerked his hand away. I was like. . .OUCH! haha But he explained it to me later so it was all good. lol A lot of this protocol makes sense, however.
Mrs. Detwiler	12/3/2008 6:31:11 PM
I must admit though, I LOVE holding my husband's hand when we walk. I think this rule should apply to unmarried soldiers. Wives should be able to hold their husband's hand. AT LEAST- not necesarily make out but the hand holding thing is a hard one for me.
mrs r o	12/30/2008 3:07:51 PM
While in uniform you do not hold hands with your military spouse!!!
mrs r o	12/30/2008 3:14:51 PM
Enlisted spouses need to read the military code of conduct. Officer spouses need to review the Service ediquite book! Both of these books can help you to support your spouse.There are also books sold at the nex/post exchange that deals with the do's and don'ts.
msgirl	1/8/2009 8:55:54 PM
I am so glad I read this. My husband and I just recently got married and i did not know any of this and I actually have a ceremony to go to this weekend with him and I would have not have known this if it wasnt for this article. Thank you so much
Annalisa	2/4/2009 9:52:31 AM
I agree that this information is useful. However, after reading "Don't refer to your husband’s orders as “our orders” unless you are a service member yourself," I was struck with lots of emotions. My husband and I were separated from each other for the first year and half of our marriage due to deployments. I stayed in the DFW area so that I could keep my teaching job, but once he returned, I had to quit my job in the middle of the year, so that I could PCS WITH him to England. Two years later, I still have not found a teaching job, and he has deployed and gone on several TDYs during this time. I have refrained from having kids, even though I'm over the age of 30, because single parenting doesn't appeal to me. When "his orders" affect the entire families' way of life, then everyone in the family has certainly earned the right to call them "our orders". It's not right that family members are made to feel like the active duty member's baggage.
Kate	2/4/2009 10:58:48 PM
Before my husband retired from the AF, we attended hundreds of ceremonies together. I would take his left arm, and we would walk in together. That is fine. I was often escorted into functions by other AD troops in exactly that way. Its sad that the younger spouses don't get this information more easily. When we joined (yes, the spouse joins too) there was always a commander's wife to point you in the right direction and tell you the basics. I used to try to do that with new spouses as they came to my husband's units.
miriamsmilitaryfamily	2/24/2009 12:22:48 AM
Quick question...Is it ok for my husband to walk with my arm around his? I've seen it in old TMC "war" movies and I'm wondering if that's allowed. =)
	3/18/2009 11:59:35 PM
I knew about all of these except the standing to the left thing and the stroller thing. My husband is always carrying or pushing our daughter. And the smoking thing.. Well lets just say I live on Fort Lewis and I dont think they enforce that here. I see soldiers in uniform smoking all the time. But this article could be very helpfull to newbies for sure. My husband told me all this stuff before I went to his Basic Graduation Ceremony.
EKFowkes	4/10/2009 4:16:26 PM
thank you for this! i once kissed my hubs and he said NO NO!! i was so embarrassed but now i know its a no no for sure!!
Liz	4/29/2009 1:25:11 PM
What about atire for the wife? When going to different functions, I was surprised by how loose women were dressed. My soldier will not allow me to dress like that. He says the military is conservative and when we are at functions or I am representing him I need to dress modestly. No tight clothing or low cut shirts.If that is the case why do so many women dress so loosely. Go into the PX and you can see what I am talking about.
	5/17/2009 2:55:32 PM
i dont see the point of tellin the wives that they cant call the orders our orders because if u look at it the wives have it just as hard as the soldiers we have to let them go n pray to god that they r goin to come back to us i mean i might just be actin selfish but i am new to the military life me n my husband have been married for a year n its our first deployment i cant help but think about the way the army says its all about family when cleary its not its just about them puttin there a** on the line n never gettin thanked for it n wat about the wives yeah we dnt get out there n fight but we have to sit at home every night n wounder am i goin to get a phone call today is it goin to be good or bad why do the wives get punished n told u cant show affection to the love of ur life i think its really stupid. but thats just my opinion.
mmspouse	6/10/2009 10:18:13 AM
Are there no women in the military you always refer to "him" this leaves out female soldiers and there spouses somebody needs to get on the ball
ladyhawk35	6/10/2009 12:33:02 PM
I don't know why but I'm a bit surprised by some of the spouses reaction to this article. No matter how silly or dumb I may think some of the rules my husband must follow are, I respect and love HIM enough to accept those rules and follow them if for no other reason than to respect what is important to him. The military is important to my huband, therefore I feel these rules are important to him too. I agree some of the rules are outdated but show me where is society there aren't outdated rules. I look at this more as traditions that I may not always agree with, but it's part of the culture that I accepted when I agreed with my husband joining the military. My husband is and enlisted soldier not an officer but don't feel that it really matters. The only differences in military spouses is that officers spouses will have to know more about all the rules because they are exposed to more military functions than most enlisted spouses are. Doesn't mean that I shouldn't still know the rules. As for male spouses, you all have the unique challenge of figuring out how the rules apply to you. "The Army Wifes Handbook" made me laugh the first time I saw it, making me question why I needed a book to tell me how to be a wife. Then I looked at it a bit more and realized that is was a great book to help me understand the rules as they applied to me.
newbie	7/4/2009 7:12:27 PM
thank you so much for the info. i will be a navy wife soon and these rules will come in handy. i would hate to make my husband look bad. thank you again.
brit-n-robbie	7/9/2009 10:16:51 PM
wow...looks like i have a LOT more to learn that i thought i did...
MarineWife623	7/12/2009 10:36:06 PM
Wow, I'm so glad I read this, I knew some of these rules but not all! My husband is in the Marines and they are very strict with their uniform rules...I NEVER see a Marine in his unit smoking/holding hands/on a cell or any of that!
soldiertospouse	7/30/2009 9:33:49 AM
For the most part I am aware of some of the 'do's and don'ts". However we should try to use the term "spouse" as oppose to "husband". There are many females in the Armed Forces and this information is good and true to the husband that is a civilian. I will continue to read these articles as they are VERY informative and I actually fell across the website in reading FRG newsletters. So thank you for having this wonderful site as I transition from being a soldier to being a military spouse. It seems quite overwhelming at times, as a PCS movement was seemingless, but now that I am a civilian, the whole finding employment, daughter just starting kindergarten, wow..a lot. These articles are very much "on time" and I will continue to read as I am not the only "overwhelmed" spouse in the world. Thanks.
LISA0908	8/1/2009 9:23:59 PM
Ok, I understand that when you become a military wife you have to live up to some kind of exspectations. LOL, but are you kidding me with some of these rules. First of all my husband and I have nothing but respect for each other, but if that man thinks I am going to hold the umbrella for him when he is twice my size, he had better check himself one more time. And what is with this non holding hands crap??? Some of these rules kind of make the spouse feel like she is way below her husband and not exual to him like it should be. oh, don't even get me started with this whole stroller thing.... Is it unmilitary for them to tell there children that they love them also??? Give me a dam break on some of these rules. We "spouses" are human being also, so don't ever forget that to whoever came up with these rediculious rules!
~~Mac$Girl~~	8/4/2009 7:14:38 PM
WOW!!! This is good information. I was in the Army and now I'm on the other side. I didnt know about all the "rules" that spouses need to follow.
Traugs	8/10/2009 10:29:10 AM
Okay, I've been a brat, a service member and now a spouse. Yes, there are a lot of rules but other than the umbrella thing I would say these are all "guidelines" rather than hard and fast rules. Like the author stated they allow the servicemember to project professionalism. Since being a military spouse is our job (at least one of them), it helps us project professionalism too. But I've never seen anyone get in trouble for pushing their baby stroller. As for the umbrella thing... I don't know about the other branches but soldiers are not allowed to carry umbrellas of any color in uniform UNLESS they are female and in A's or B's (or dress uniform). I'm not 100% on that but pretty darn sure. BTW, I've always gotten a peck on the cheek when from my husband when parting ways, except when we were both in uniform. Again, guidelines for professionalism. :)
Amanda Chesser	8/13/2009 8:43:17 AM
more people should make themselves aware of these rules. ive been a navy brat my whole life, and am now a navy wife, so these rules have been a big part of my life. and it really angers me when people disrespect their uniform. just the other day i was at the mall and saw a couple, obviously just got back from bootcamp, making out while eating lunch, he TOOK HIS SHIRT OFF while they were sitting together! and when she wasnt wearing his cover, he was wearing it, INDOORS! needless to say, i did walk up to them and let them know how disrespectful and ignorant they were.
joss	9/9/2009 10:52:47 AM
This has to be the most comments I've ever seen on a milspouse article. Thank you, sweet8402, for pointing out the locking elbows option; they ought to add it to the list. ************************************ Please, generally speaking, don't take the list as license to become hall monitors. In a commissary in Florida in July that had no posted dress code, one wife bawled out another in line for wearing flip flops. And even if they had posted a dress code, that's no reason to make someone cry. Please be kind to each other first and foremost and give each other the benefit of the doubt. A perceived breach in etiquette is not best handled by making an even bigger spectacle.
IC	9/24/2009 11:55:00 AM
I am amazed that this article has been out for almost 2 years, and yet the author has even trying to amended. The umbrella "do" it's still a "don't" for Army soldier in the ACUs/BDUs. That is why the Army issues them wet weather gear, and there are also some authorized parkas Soldiers can wear when raining. Umbrellas are authorized for the "suit" uniforms (AR 670-1) and yes it has to be black. I am not sure why it’s considered “unmilitary” to push the baby stroller when in uniform or carrying packets for him/her so he/she can salute. It's cleared that if he/she can't do a hand salute because his/her hands are full, the other Soldier should understand. A spoken greeting should be given in returned. One DON'T that I think it should be mentioned is that spouses shouldn't wear their spouse's PTs. That is so no cool.
New Wife & 1st Deployment	9/28/2009 12:39:58 PM
I'm only 19 right now my fiancee is in Iraq and we are planning our wedding for December when he comes home...I have tried every internet site available to find out the proper etiquette on a military wedding but I am stumped do you have any suggestions?
Kerri	10/21/2009 9:26:10 PM
I have been a navy wife for almost 7 years now, and honestly I DO NOT GIVE A CRAP ABOUT THESE RULES!!! I am reading comments on this page, about reading handbooks, seriously WTF,I have better things to do with my time, then read a handbook about some rule that says I can't hold my husbands hand, and that I have to walk on the left side of him, so he can salute some egotistical officer? What's next, are we going to start saluting officers wives too? I don't think so! It's bad enough I got to live around their snobby aes! I hate the military and all of it's a kissing political b*llshit, I have more important thing to be concerning myself with.
Kaynr	11/1/2009 11:08:54 PM
This is crap. He is my husband. I will do what i want. Its already bad enough they tell me when i can see him and for how long. He cant push his baby in a stroller?.. ha If she still uses it by the time he gets back. They already took his time away. I will walk on which ever side i want because i am more important to him than some asshole who needs saluted. i bet they would be mad if he didnt salute. im not mad he missed our anniversary or cant kiss me every morning so they can get over it to!
joss	11/12/2009 11:16:14 PM
Reading this again, it needs to be rewritten so it doesn't sound so grating. If all you want to tell me is that servicemembers can only carry black umbrellas, then just say that. You don't need to instruct us to "offer" them umbrellas like we're they're valets. Most of the other rules don't need to be directed at the spouses either; rather than tell me not to offer him gum, just let me know they're not allowed to chew gum. I think phrasing these rules as a bunch of "don't" or servile "do's" directed at the spouses has turned most readers off, judging from the comments. And it seems like a lot of the 'rules' can be summed up in "they have to keep their right hands free to salute" (hence, we walk on their left, they can't walk while eating/drinking/talking on the phone, keep their hands in their pockets, etc). I love being married in the military, but this makes it sound like absolute hell.
NikkoKitty	11/17/2009 3:23:37 AM
Who stole this list/article? Either Whitney needs to fight for her writing, or she needs to admit to wrongdoing and intellectual property theft. http://www.ehow.com/how_4512792_be-military-spouse-etiquette-rules.html
amanda chuplis	11/23/2009 11:32:56 PM
all i am goinmg to say is wow. very schovenistic. my husband is very affectionate with me, he grabs my hand and i know when we have a child he will also want to push the stroller! wow you can tell a man whose lonely made these rules lol
mommyx2	12/1/2009 5:02:59 PM
This is great, but I have been breaking all the rules...wish I would have seen this sooner, emailing this to my friends =)
jo	12/5/2009 1:04:01 AM
These rules are for CRAZY people. We don't live in a 3rd world country for a reason people. I mean he can push the freakin stroller as easily as I can. I will show affection anytime I want and as my husband Expect him to do the same. Furthermore if he doesn't talk to me on the phone in uniform going to & from when the crap would I talk to him. The homefront that supports him while he is deployed should not only have him showing affection, pushing a stroller, carring a kid or diaper bag even at the expense of not saluting but do it with PRIDE. One day he will retire from the military but he will ALWAYS be a husband & daddy FIRST & FOREVER!
Enlisted Officer	12/7/2009 6:15:18 PM
Kerrinegron - - Shame on you and your lousy attitude! As the wife of a now-retired military member, as a former enlisted member myself, and now as a current officer, I can honestly say that your husband does not salute officers because they are egotistical! When I was enlisted, I saluted officers for 2 reasons; 1) because it’s the rules and 2) out of respect. Now that I am an officer, not only do I receive salutes, but I also RETURN those salutes for 2 reasons; 1) because it’s the rules and 2) out of respect. You think your husband has it soooo bad because he has to salute 1 out of every 20 people he walks past? Give me a break! Officers have to salute EVERYONE, both higher ranking than them and lower ranking than them - and most of the time, knowing full well that many of their attitudes are just as ugly as yours. I think you have a problem with officers for 2 reasons; 1) they are educated and have some class and 2) because they are articulate and do not have to use acronyms and asterisks in order to imply expletives on a family-oriented website. Since you have clearly displayed in your post that you have none of these qualities, I think your rage towards officers is merely out of jealousy and not actually out of anything that an officer or his/her wife has ever done to deserve your wrath.
Wife_of_an_Airman	12/17/2009 5:28:23 AM
I'm really shocked at some of the comments on the handholding (PDA) rule. Ladies, you may not care about how it looks, but i guarantee your husband does. I don't know about other branches, but the Air Force has three core values - "Integrity first, service before self, and excellence in all we do". Integrity means doing whats right, which means obeying the rules. Service before self means that the Air Force doesn't give a flip if you WANT to hold hands, it says you can't when he's in uniform and so you cant. Most of us knew what type of a lifestyle we were getting when we became military spouses. To be a military wife means to support our husbands in their military careers. Why on earth would you totally disregard a rule that you know will get your husband reprimanded? For Kerrinegron, the young lady who commented that she doesn't give a cr*p about rules and finds her husband having to salute higher ups degrading. I'm sorry that wives like you exist in my military. We should be proud that men and women VOLUNTEER to be members of the armed services and as civilians (because yes, even as wives we are civilians) we owe them respect, regardless of rank. Walk a day in their shoes and see how you feel. Being married to a member of the military doesn't give you any understanding as to what those men and woman go through daily. While we sit at home, they're on the front lines protecting your rights to say how much you hate military life. If you enjoy your right to speak freely, thank a soldier.
Sonja	12/19/2009 12:34:47 PM
This is a good list. However, I disagree with the comment about referring to service members as "Sir" or "Ma'am" When I speak to my spouse's superiors and their spouses, I always use "Sir" and "Ma'am." My father was also in the Air Force and my mother did the same. Using "Sir" and "Ma'am" shows common courtesy. In fact, I use "Sir" and "Ma'am" even for those not in the military. More people should try it.
Marinesprincess	1/5/2010 11:24:54 AM
Ok so let me say that I am completely dumfounded by many of your responses to this article! As a marine brat and now a marine wife as much as we may not like these rules and as ridiculous as they may be they are rules that are still followed! You and your enlisted service member agreed to your servicemember joining the military or you married that person after they had joined either way this is the life you have chosen to live! Yes we are human beings and deserve to be treated as such but when our men and women are in uniform we are not individuals we are the servicemembers wife or husband and we are representing them! Ladies I know many feel as if these rules are quite sexist and maybe even putting women down but understand that the military is an extremely old entity following many of the same basic principles that it was created on! You are not living in the civilian world where you are equal to your spouse! It drives me nuts especially when I see people holding hands or showing PDA in uniform! it's disrepectful! Hold your service members elbow and always walk on their left! and yes ladies that is proper etiquette bc if you think about it if you are walking down the street you walk against traffic and if you are on the left side you are not on the curb! When you marry someone you are no longer an individual you are a couple, just as when your servicemember joined the military you are no longer an individual you are the spouse of your service member and as that spouse you should do all that you can to support that person in anyway you can! just as your spouse should for you! being a military spouse is not an easy job! In fact it is quite more demanding than anyone who isn't could ever imagine! sorry if i offended anyone but I'm not much for sugar coating the truth
	1/5/2010 11:31:42 PM
I look at it like this, when my husband is in uniform, then he is my soldier. When he is in civilians, then he is my husband. I have always respected him and the etiquettes when he is in uniform. I really don't even spend a lot of time with my husband while he is in uniform anyways, as soon as he comes home he changes clothes and then we do what we planned. I also personally think it's tasteless and disrespectful when I see a soldier showing PDA in uniform. The whole "sir and ma'am" thing, I'm probably not going to change that since I refer to everyone as sir or ma'am, civilians or in the military. (Unless they personally ask that I refer to them by name.) That's just being respectful. As for some of the ladies on here, the only word I have to say is WOW! I know that being a military spouse is tough, no one said it would be easy, but please calm down and have some respect for yourselves. When you come on here cussing and making mean comments, it doesn't make people respect you or your opinions. Actually, it does the complete opposite. Your spouse chose to join the military, simple as that. They have to abide by the rules even if you decide you want to be a brat and throw a hissy fit. I honestly can't see how some of you disrespect the military so bad when I have nothing but respect for my husband and the things that he does. Bottom line, yea sometimes being a military spouse sucks. It can get lonely and crazy. Try to take the bad with the good. The military isn't all bad, it actually has a lot of things for the spouses if you take the time to look for them! (Heck, I am getting half off my college tuition JUST because I am a military spouse and I'm not even using my husbands G.I. Bill.) Not to mention the fact that being in the military is a guaranteed paycheck, roof over your head AND health care. Also, I take my husbands deployments as a chance for us to strengthen our marriage and the bond between us. We as spouses are doing something that most civilians can't do. When my husband returns home, my pride swells and we now have the opportunity to look back and say "yea, we went through that and survived it!". I don't know about ya'll, but my civilian friends think that it's just amazing how we can go through a deployment. Most of them say that they "could never do it". If you look at the military with the right attitude, it can instill the same values in you as it did your spouse, and there is certainly nothing wrong with learning how to respect and be respected. I wish happiness and luck to all of the military spouses!! =o)
Stephanie Bailey	1/8/2010 1:20:59 PM
HAHAHA, During parade season my Marine was escorting me to the parade deck in DC. I walked on his right side or close beside him on the right side, i was a new wife, and he went to salute and pretty much elbowed me in the face. I'm so glad they didn't notice. to what i say. i felt to terrible as did he. From now on i walk on his left side!!! they should give you a run book when you marry a marine!!!!-SB
BigSarge	1/11/2010 1:21:01 PM
While some of these may be useful, Please do not confuse rules/regulations with opinions and/or suggestions. "keep in mind that maintenance of these rules allows service members to project professionalism" I would like to see the regulation that states the "rule" making pushing YOUR CHILD in a stroller "unmilitary".
Hippie	1/19/2010 11:51:39 PM
haha, so I guess next you are going to tell me that my husband can't hug his kids or kiss them in uniform? I am a loving person and show my husband love. I even hug his First Sargent and C.O. - gasp they hugged me at a ball one time! And no one was uncomfortable. I know certain situations (like walking through the procession line being introduced) you have to be polite and courteous, but they understand that I am not married to the military...I am married to my man. HAHA, and I am also a hippie with dreadlocks so I guess I break the "typical" military wife stereotypes.
Hippie	1/19/2010 11:51:43 PM
haha, so I guess next you are going to tell me that my husband can't hug his kids or kiss them in uniform? I am a loving person and show my husband love. I even hug his First Sargent and C.O. - gasp they hugged me at a ball one time! And no one was uncomfortable. I know certain situations (like walking through the procession line being introduced) you have to be polite and courteous, but they understand that I am not married to the military...I am married to my man. HAHA, and I am also a hippie with dreadlocks so I guess I break the "typical" military wife stereotypes.
Hippie	1/19/2010 11:51:48 PM
haha, so I guess next you are going to tell me that my husband can't hug his kids or kiss them in uniform? I am a loving person and show my husband love. I even hug his First Sargent and C.O. - gasp they hugged me at a ball one time! And no one was uncomfortable. I know certain situations (like walking through the procession line being introduced) you have to be polite and courteous, but they understand that I am not married to the military...I am married to my man. HAHA, and I am also a hippie with dreadlocks so I guess I break the "typical" military wife stereotypes.
Aundria	1/28/2010 1:33:42 PM
I don't "allow" my husband to do or NOT do anything. He is a grown man. I have held hands with him in uniform, but we don't kiss or do anything like that when he is. Some of these make sense, but some are just crazy!
Lovingnavywife	2/5/2010 2:11:00 PM
This is a great article. I'm glad it was posted. There were a few things I was unaware of.
alishaadell	2/19/2010 12:17:28 PM
I am also a service member so i already knew all these things, but i do agree that some of them seem really unfair because i'm in a relationship with another service member and i hate it when i'm in civilian clothes on his base for lunch and i cant kiss him goodbye because he's in uniform. He usually lets me do it if we're in my truck but not where people can see us, which is fine for me. I honestly believe that all of these rules are legit because i have alot of pride in my uniform and it just looks trashy sometimes when you see people all over each other while in uniform...makes me feel like i'm in high school all over again. I know how much people love their significant other, but just please respect the uniform...these rules were made for a reason. Some people take it to far with the pda and that's why they implemented that rule. Even though you personally may be fine with a peck on the lips/cheek, some people feel they must full on make out to get their affection across, which in turn, looks trashy in uniform. As for the other rules...it's all about the uniform & the respect/pride for it.
Sky Watcher	3/15/2010 11:51:52 PM
Good article and it would be great to see a follow up article that addresses how some of these rules have become so informal (to the extent of being ignored) and how others are very much still the current etiquette. Regarding the orders, I agree with what the author says about the etiquette. As spouses, they simply are not "our" orders. The military appreciates the support that families offer, but it does not issue it's orders to families but to the soldiers who agreed to strenuous terms of service. Being a military spouse is something many, unfortunately, decide they would prefer not to be. You are not under orders. You may leave fairly easily. Orders do affect the entire family tremendously, but orders are for the soldiers. NOT for the spouses. I frankly think the military can be thanked for the support it provides to spouses and dependents. I actually find it nearly pretentious when spouses feel that orders- and deployments- are to be referred to as "our." I am a spouse, but I find it almost degrading to soldiers for spouses to say "our orders" and "our deployments."
Kerry	3/26/2010 3:56:08 PM
I am glad I came across this article. Now I can buy a black umbrella in case my soldier and I get stuck in the rain! Since my husband is new to the military (he is in BCT right now) I don't know any of the rules, but I do wish that there were a book with all of the etiquette laid out for me to see. I definitely will always walk on his left side but I am not sure about the kiss thing. If my children, who have had to sacrifice time away from their daddy, need some physical reassurance than I believe they are entitled to it.
SouthernCharm	3/26/2010 4:51:14 PM
Where to begin...well, the one on here I don't agree with at all is the "don't refer to his orders as our orders." We have to move, adapt and modify our life to the military's constant movement, so when it's time to leave, it's not like I can refuse, so yes, those are "our" orders. Guess I don't comply with that one. I will respect the uniform, but like I tell my husband, he's military, I'm not. And the sir/ma'am thing: I'm from the South so everybody is sir or ma'am to me.
FutureMrsA1CDFL	4/16/2010 12:00:07 PM
This is so insightful! I feel that it was my choice to be a spouse of an Airman (it was the choice of everyone on this site to be military spouses...), and because of this, I feel as though I SHOULD follow these rules without grip. Rules are rules, and were put into place at one time or another for a reason. My fiance and I are both rule followers, and have NO problems following the rules that were set out for both of us... Remember Spouses: our husbands/wives/fiances duty is to our country, our duty is to them.
lena	4/19/2010 5:13:40 PM
Never heard of any of these rules. Some of them do make sense but i've seen soldiers in uniform smoking and talking on the phones too many times to even think there are even rules like that. NOt showing any affection or pushing a stroller it's just doesn't seem very family friendly...i kiss my husband every time when we meet for lunch... he never said anything to me about it.
Lexi&Boys	4/30/2010 7:39:14 PM
jadedangyle - I totally agree!
susieq	5/27/2010 3:28:37 PM
ALOT of soldiers smoke in uniform and no one ever yells at them so I think that might be an old rule no one cares about anymore.As far as no hand handing and baby strolling pushing dont agree
chantrise	6/18/2010 10:41:49 AM
the military ways will always be just out there and a little crazy for the spouses.the soldiers do a lot, but wow we spouses do just about as much.either your in or your out.just the way it is.u have to put your soldier first.weird hunh!
	6/30/2010 8:29:53 PM
Thank you so much for this article. I'm new to this and I wish I would've found you before I visited my Marines base for the first time. I had no idea how to address his higher ups, or what was the right etiquette and I think he was amused a bit, he told me the basics but I felt like it was a test a little bit. See how I handled the pressure? He likes to do that sometimes. Not maliciously, but I think seeing me vulnerable a bit when in the civilian world I run a company and can be kind controlling...ok very controlling...it humbles me a bit. The irony is he supports me in both. He'll go to my events with me and do better than I do navigating life on base. I'm always so nervous about what to say or do or how to act. We went to a movie on base and I was so scared, I didn't want to share his popcorn or hold his hand in the seat because I didn't know if it was PDA. I always want to make him proud and as an officer I know he takes being an example very seriously. This is a very different world for me, and few friends or family understand. They thought it was insane when I said I was in love with a Marine and that I would never be able to handle all the "rules". I'd never met a rule I didn't rewrite. I did everything I was told not to. However I am the proudest I have ever been and I want to learn the do's and don'ts so that I support him and help him rise in his career. He loves the Marine Corps and now so do I. I want to know everything I can to make him and myself proud. It's more important than ever that we represent them and this nation with dignity and pride right now. He is deployed and it's my job to make him proud and to care for things as he would. It's the most important and satisfying part of my life. I will push the baby stroller happily one day, I hope, so that our children see the reverence and give respect for what their father has given his life to and for what all service people do. I think if you look at as YOU being demeaned then you're looking at it the wrong way. Nothing about the choice your husband or wife made to serve could produce anything demoralizing, if you think so than what does it say about what you think of their choices? I trust my Marine implicitly, and if the rules say I walk on the left, or carry a black umbrella or refrain from kissing him or wear a bucket on my head... that's exactly what I am going to do!
	7/7/2010 11:53:13 AM
Hi, Thank you for your posting and it would be nice to have even more of the hand book info out there. Like attending Military Balls (dress code) for wives for both full -time Military and M-day Soldiers and is there a difference? However I do feel some of the rules are out dated. Like, we want our spouses to take, a more important roles in our Children's lives, which also includes them pushing them in the strollers. They can always stop and salute anyone when doing that.( My Kids are out of this stage.) I can understand some PDA we do the linking of the arms both in and out of uniform. However, holding hands, hug and a quick kiss short should be allowed. Also men should be carrying the packages for their ladies and opening car doors, offering umbrellas ect...it is what is called being a Gentleman. The drinking thing, I think if they are having dinner it should be ok to have a drink with dinner. I don’t think they should go to a bar just to drink and be in there uniform and I don’t think they should smoke either. The whole our orders or not is just nick picky. I have never referred to his orders as mine. However the military wants us to follow their rules but not refer to the orders as ours, but it affects us the family. I do feel as family members we don’t get recognized enough for our part of our spouse’s career. We too sacrifice so much for their careers, for them to serve for our country. Sometimes giving up ours careers for theirs, left packing up homes, running the household, doing there chores, fixing things, ect.. . Yet we are supposed to follow the rules. I think some of the rules do need to be update and looked at in our ever changing day and age we live in. A committee of military spouses ( a multi aged and gender group )should be the ones to go over these rules and update them. Since we are the ones that are suppose to follow these rules. Thank you
MrsRohde	7/16/2010 11:11:36 AM
WOW I didnt know all this. I thought a lot of this he was making up. I even told him he was bs and he was like Im not I promise lol!
MrsRohde	7/16/2010 11:11:42 AM
WOW I didnt know all this. I thought a lot of this he was making up. I even told him he was bs and he was like Im not I promise lol!
rainer_neuhauser	7/17/2010 9:43:45 PM
I am a male spouse and feel a little bit out of the story. It looks like the Author things all Spouses are female and all Soldiers are Male
Kita_86	8/27/2010 2:50:43 PM
I'm glad these are here because I would hate to do anything that may embarrass him or the military, but I do agree with some of the other wives in saying that some of these don't seem very family friendly. At least now I know to keep a black umbrella handy...=)
Kita_86	8/27/2010 2:50:49 PM
I'm glad these are here because I would hate to do anything that may embarrass him or the military, but I do agree with some of the other wives in saying that some of these don't seem very family friendly. At least now I know to keep a black umbrella handy...=)
	8/27/2010 3:37:20 PM
I'm glad these are here because I would hate to do anything that may embarrass him or the military, but I do agree with some of the other wives in saying that some of these don't seem very family friendly. At least now I know to keep a black umbrella handy...=)
JaneeS	9/3/2010 11:52:02 PM
I've been a proud AF wife for 17 years. Prior to becoming "military property" myself :-) I read the book "Today's Military Wife". It's available on Amazon, maybe used even, possibly on Half.com. Love to save $$! It is updated as times change, such that I believe the 9th version is the current one. It really helped me understand spousal etiquette, ranks in different services, general base/post info. Service members frequently do drink in uniform at the base clubs or even have a beer after the work day in the office. We have given a quick small hidden kiss and brushed hands, not to the point of holding hands. I really want him to look professional, and I feel that I have been given the proud job of helping maintain that image. I don't understand that they don't want to carry umbrellas. No children here, so never had the stroller issue. At times they are restricted from wearing uniforms off base/post at all depending on security levels, which means the military member cannot even stop at the grocery store, pump gas, get dry cleaning off base at those times. These days they are allowed to wear uniforms off base as they are representing warrior service. Also, don't consider that a spouse carries her husband's rank, enlisted or officers, the women generally are wives facing similar circumstances. I've seen the old school wives of ranking officers try to express superiority due to their husband's rank. I do still respect the ranking officer's spouses, but I look at them as role models and women to ask for advice since they've lived the life so long. Now if only we had a simple method to navigate the health care system without jumping thru hoops.
hfwarrior08	9/15/2010 10:55:02 AM
I see a lot of soldiers pushing strollers especially right after the birth of the child. if the mother had problems during the pregnancy and isnt allowed to do much expect go to the bathroom and eat. i know a few women who had problems walking after the birth for a few weeks. Pushing something that isnt always on level terrian just made it worse for them.
armygf	9/15/2010 7:40:20 PM
I am a new army girlfriend we have been dating for about 2 months I am going on base for the first offical ceremony tomorrow. I am used to walking off base with him in is uniform we are both in college and he comes straight from work to classes some days. He follows most of these rules off base also except for carrying stuff he will normally carry everything in an area near base where we may run into senior officers he just normally keeps his right hand empty
Angel	10/20/2010 9:29:55 AM
Whoever came up with the "notion" that the orders are his orders only needs to be questioned. It is insulting and insensitive - and I am prior active duty military. Orders directly impact the entire family. The dependents may not be performing the job duties at a specific unit, but the dependents pick up and move their lives in conjunction with orders. Dependents are literally listed on orders. If the active duty person deploys or goes to an unaccompanied assignment - the dependents left behind are supported by that military installation during his absence based on orders. So unless the active duty person is single and childless - it absurd to say it is just the active duty person's orders!
Tasha	10/21/2010 4:27:13 PM
I agree with AFStrykerWife! I'm surprised by how many spouses don't know this information.
Tasha	10/21/2010 4:27:20 PM
I agree with AFStrykerWife! I'm surprised by how many spouses don't know this information.
angryspouse	10/21/2010 6:31:35 PM
I wish they kept the same respect today. I know they need people but gold teeth should be a no go, crazy women's hair should be a no go. People driving on base and rocking out full blast to Mega Death or 2 PAc, Regaetone etc. - should be a no go. You get the picture. It's sad when I go to a base and meet GI Joe gone ghetto or Drunk Rockers who think they joined a fratt house.
angryspouse	10/21/2010 6:31:41 PM
I wish they kept the same respect today. I know they need people but gold teeth should be a no go, crazy women's hair should be a no go. People driving on base and rocking out full blast to Mega Death or 2 PAc, Regaetone etc. - should be a no go. You get the picture. It's sad when I go to a base and meet GI Joe gone ghetto or Drunk Rockers who think they joined a fratt house.
angryspouse	10/21/2010 6:31:47 PM
I wish they kept the same respect today. I know they need people but gold teeth should be a no go, crazy women's hair should be a no go. People driving on base and rocking out full blast to Mega Death or 2 PAc, Regaetone etc. - should be a no go. You get the picture. It's sad when I go to a base and meet GI Joe gone ghetto or Drunk Rockers who think they joined a fratt house.
angryspouse	10/21/2010 6:31:53 PM
I wish they kept the same respect today. I know they need people but gold teeth should be a no go, crazy women's hair should be a no go. People driving on base and rocking out full blast to Mega Death or 2 PAc, Regaetone etc. - should be a no go. You get the picture. It's sad when I go to a base and meet GI Joe gone ghetto or Drunk Rockers who think they joined a fratt house.
angryspouse	10/21/2010 6:32:00 PM
I wish they kept the same respect today. I know they need people but gold teeth should be a no go, crazy women's hair should be a no go. People driving on base and rocking out full blast to Mega Death or 2 PAc, Regaetone etc. - should be a no go. You get the picture. It's sad when I go to a base and meet GI Joe gone ghetto or Drunk Rockers who think they joined a fratt house.
angryspouse	10/21/2010 6:32:06 PM
I wish they kept the same respect today. I know they need people but gold teeth should be a no go, crazy women's hair should be a no go. People driving on base and rocking out full blast to Mega Death or 2 PAc, Regaetone etc. - should be a no go. You get the picture. It's sad when I go to a base and meet GI Joe gone ghetto or Drunk Rockers who think they joined a fratt house.
angryspouse	10/21/2010 6:32:13 PM
I wish they kept the same respect today. I know they need people but gold teeth should be a no go, crazy women's hair should be a no go. People driving on base and rocking out full blast to Mega Death or 2 PAc, Regaetone etc. - should be a no go. You get the picture. It's sad when I go to a base and meet GI Joe gone ghetto or Drunk Rockers who think they joined a fratt house.
angryspouse	10/21/2010 6:32:21 PM
I wish they kept the same respect today. I know they need people but gold teeth should be a no go, crazy women's hair should be a no go. People driving on base and rocking out full blast to Mega Death or 2 PAc, Regaetone etc. - should be a no go. You get the picture. It's sad when I go to a base and meet GI Joe gone ghetto or Drunk Rockers who think they joined a fratt house.
Sandra00160	11/7/2010 8:39:38 PM
They have changed the cellphone rule. They are allowed to talk on their cellphone as long as it doesn't get in the way of them saluting. As for the arm lock, I didn't know that and I hate that I can't hold his hand when he is looking all sorts of sexy in his uniform in public. Thanks (:
Jazze68	11/18/2010 3:07:46 PM
Ummm. Many don't know! Is there a handbook? How do you get one if there is? My husband mentioned a few things but no handbook and if you are not accustomed to the Military life you really would have not idea. So please stop acting surprised. It is not common knowledge. Great article and thank you for the tips!
Jazze68	11/18/2010 3:07:54 PM
Ummm. Many don't know! Is there a handbook? How do you get one if there is? My husband mentioned a few things but no handbook and if you are not accustomed to the Military life you really would have not idea. So please stop acting surprised. It is not common knowledge. Great article and thank you for the tips!
Jazze68	11/18/2010 3:08:01 PM
Ummm. Many don't know! Is there a handbook? How do you get one if there is? My husband mentioned a few things but no handbook and if you are not accustomed to the Military life you really would have not idea. So please stop acting surprised. It is not common knowledge. Great article and thank you for the tips!
	12/3/2010 6:43:59 PM
These 'rules' are a litte insane, some sexist pig created this bcuz they feel women should still be beneath men. Some make sense but the stroller thing? & we're supposed to change ourselves for a ceromony? I have several piercings & I refuse to take them out for anyone, I dont enjoy wearing dresses, I prefer jeans, skirts, Converse & flip-flops. Why are we supposed to dress a certian way, look a certain way? Hell, we arent the Stepford Wives. Our men are with us bcuz of who we were when they met us, not some copy the goverment wants us to be. I wont be fake, I will show him the same person he met at the begining.
Quandolyn Smith	12/5/2010 11:21:34 AM
This information is extremely helpful, thank you for posting this, most of this things I did not know until now.
Lisa73	12/12/2010 5:15:38 AM
Husband NOT SUPPOSED to push a baby stroller? Give me a break. Tell ya what....when they decide to give back the total of $800 a month my Hubbys pay has dropped, AFTER spending a yr in Iraq risking his f***ing life and leaving behind his 4 kids (right at Christmas mind you) THEN maybe I'll consider this etiquette thing. To me, this is a matter of respect. Well guess what? The military has NO RESPECT for my family, so.......enuff said. And as for the baby stroller. Well, my Hubby won't be pushing ours because my baby (Due in 14 weeks) will be placed for adoption. Having only $250 left over each pay for food, gas, clothes and any leisure sure as hellwon't be enough for diapers. In my eyes. The military is a joke. The soldiers are sheep. Unbelievable.
Lisa73	12/12/2010 5:15:46 AM
Husband NOT SUPPOSED to push a baby stroller? Give me a break. Tell ya what....when they decide to give back the total of $800 a month my Hubbys pay has dropped, AFTER spending a yr in Iraq risking his f***ing life and leaving behind his 4 kids (right at Christmas mind you) THEN maybe I'll consider this etiquette thing. To me, this is a matter of respect. Well guess what? The military has NO RESPECT for my family, so.......enuff said. And as for the baby stroller. Well, my Hubby won't be pushing ours because my baby (Due in 14 weeks) will be placed for adoption. Having only $250 left over each pay for food, gas, clothes and any leisure sure as hellwon't be enough for diapers. In my eyes. The military is a joke. The soldiers are sheep. Unbelievable.
Lisa73	12/12/2010 5:31:48 AM
And I'm SURE I'll hear "shame on you", but guess what? I didn't marry military. I married a man that got a masters degree and worked in the real world. He met some recruiter "salesman" that dangled being an officer in his face blah,blah,blah, and he decided to join the army. It was believed that shortly after AIT he would be heading to OCS and told not to worry about deployment. HA HA HA. They stationed him in Germany and before he could even arrange to get his family over with him they deployed him.There went OCS. My kids haven't lived in the same house with my Hubby for almost 2yrs now. They have spent a total of 27 days total with him since Jan 2009. My Son was 1 when he left. now at 3, he barely knows his Dad.....
Lisa73	12/12/2010 5:31:56 AM
And I'm SURE I'll hear "shame on you", but guess what? I didn't marry military. I married a man that got a masters degree and worked in the real world. He met some recruiter "salesman" that dangled being an officer in his face blah,blah,blah, and he decided to join the army. It was believed that shortly after AIT he would be heading to OCS and told not to worry about deployment. HA HA HA. They stationed him in Germany and before he could even arrange to get his family over with him they deployed him.There went OCS. My kids haven't lived in the same house with my Hubby for almost 2yrs now. They have spent a total of 27 days total with him since Jan 2009. My Son was 1 when he left. now at 3, he barely knows his Dad.....
MRS_SSG	12/13/2010 12:16:16 PM
Some of this I knew, but a good portion I didn't. I will be attending my first ATC formal event with my husband (newlyweds!!) in January so I have a couple of questions. We are very affectionate and always hold hands. I already know to not kiss while in uniform, but even in his ACUs we still kiss just more briefly and more subtle. Is it okay to hold hands at ATC? I will feel wierd being so distant from him! Also, I have already met his 1st sgt and colonel and have already replied as "Sir" when I was addressed. This is not appropriate even as a spouse? If I am not sure of someone's rank how should I respond? I will be meeting a lot of new people at ATC formal and I definitely want to make a good impression. =)
mercilesswarrior	12/15/2010 11:03:57 AM
I knew about many of these, but I have to say that the PDA one isn't right. I drive my husband to and from base everyday while he is in uniform and he will kiss me everytime I pick him up or drop him off. I was told at his BCT graduation that I could hold his hand and kiss him so long as it wasn't "making out". It might have been fine because we were engaged at the time but I don't care what people think about us showing our love for each other. If I want to hold my husband's hand and kiss him in public I will.
anrmansprincess	1/5/2011 3:34:06 AM
I have only been told that you can't hold hands or kiss when they are in uniform or unless they are returning from a deployment..ok wow one thing to add to that I didn't know that I couldn't refer to my husband as Airman Henry that is what I call him to his SGT's and stuff I mean really that is all they know him by is his last name I am sure if I called him by his first they would have no idea who I was talking about..and sad to say but it looks like I will have to bush up on my ranks cause to tell you the truth I am not all that good with ranks... I have always gone with the polite road of calling other by sir and ma’am... wow!! but really helpful info
	1/6/2011 11:38:40 PM
I think its funny that your husbands don't tell you any of this stuff. The best place for advice is your service member. They learn this stuff in basic training. My husband insisted on pushing the strolling. That's why he said we needed a stroller we could push with one hand. Well that and other reasons. Besides if alot of officers are around it's not hard to switch.
	1/6/2011 11:38:48 PM
I think its funny that your husbands don't tell you any of this stuff. The best place for advice is your service member. They learn this stuff in basic training. My husband insisted on pushing the strolling. That's why he said we needed a stroller we could push with one hand. Well that and other reasons. Besides if alot of officers are around it's not hard to switch.
Tawhnee	1/7/2011 12:07:21 AM
Please take this article with a grain of salt!!! Beware new wives/ girlfriends. I don't know where this writer got her information but some info is not important or accurate especially the orders/stroller ones. Besides what does that even mean? You can't say it's "our" orders only when HE is in uniform. What??? First if all the orders are made out with everyones names on them. I think that is a personal decision. After 8 years of my husband in the service and 2 kids I have never had a problem having our kids around or giving him a kiss goodbye or hello. Each duty station and superiors are different though. Some very important things are missing like when colors are preformed on base. You must stop and face the flag with hand on heart or stop driving. Or you can't walk and talk on cell phone on base. That I think is mostly a safety rule though. My husband always says how is superiors introduce themselves to me is how I should call them. His co has me call him by his first name but my Hubby calls him by rank and last. If I have a question I ask my husband he knows. I can't tell you how many times I've gotten bad info. Plus some things do vary from station to station and branch to branch.
Mrs. O'Daniel	1/11/2011 8:39:51 AM
Thanks this was really a big help! My husband was in the military for 8 years and just recently joined back in, Me however this is going to be a complete and new experience! Im a little nervous but everyone keeps telling me that im going to love it, Well ladies im going to need all the help I can get lol :) my email is littlelovealot@yahoo.com if anyone would like to share helpful stories, comments, concerns! Thanks again for you time! Mrs. O'Daniel
Mrs. O'Daniel	1/11/2011 8:40:00 AM
Thanks this was really a big help! My husband was in the military for 8 years and just recently joined back in, Me however this is going to be a complete and new experience! Im a little nervous but everyone keeps telling me that im going to love it, Well ladies im going to need all the help I can get lol :) my email is littlelovealot@yahoo.com if anyone would like to share helpful stories, comments, concerns! Thanks again for you time! Mrs. O'Daniel
	2/3/2011 11:55:51 PM
Yes, this could have been written better on many levels - but that does not change the fact that on a basic level - these are the rules/etiquette. As both a military brat and a military spouse - I'm shocked that spouses are not aware of these rules, and even more so that some of you are disrespectful about them! If you were married when your spouse entered into the service, you entered into the military life with him - it is a lack of courtesy to knowingly break the rules. If you married your spouse knowing they were in the service, you should have known what you were signing up for. And if your spouses have not informed you of all of this information, it isn't your fault for now know it, but it is time for a talk so you know you are not being left out of the loop. I still laugh about the walk on the right rule because my husband and I were in highschool together in JROTC and he always had to walk on my right... now it's my turn, and I'm proud to do so! But I have to admit - it's a hard habit to break! And yes, I hate the PDA thing, but it is in place for good reason - and I respect that. Besides, it makes things all the better when you do finally get behind closed doors. :~)
AF_Spouse	3/5/2011 7:21:17 PM
First, I am not a military spouse I'm using my husbands account. I am the military member so the above list needs to be changed from husband this and that to service member and spouse. I am the service member - the wife. My husband is a civilian and has never been in the military. I have been in the military for 9 years and I am going to clear some of these up. For the first 6 months of my daughter's life I was a single parent. I pushed the stroller in uniform. As long as you can take your right hand off the stroller to salute you can push the stroller. While my husband can help me carry stuff if he wants, I am allowed to carry as much stuff as I want. If I don't have my right hand free...then I acknowledge the officer so he knows that I still offer my respect but that I just have my hands full. "Morning, sir or ma'am." Whatever the case might be. You are allowed to kiss and hug as long as its quick. There's no reason for prolonged hugging or kissing unless the service member is coming back from a deployment. I kiss and hug my daughter while I'm in uniform, but I just make it quick same with my husband. You can smoke in uniform in designated areas. You are not supposed to eat or drink while walking in uniform. You can talk on your cell phone now (at least in the Air Force, not sure if it was an Air Force directive that allows us to or an all military directive) if you keep it in your left hand and hold it to your side as you go to salute the officer. Now for the comments from the spouses that say they don't care about their spouse having to salute and from the sounds of it they are willing to disrespect the higher-ups. I just want to remind you that our spouses actions are a direct reflection on us the servicemember. You doing certain things to act out against the military structure can be used against your military spouses so while you may not agree with what we have to do it is our duty to follow the rules and if you're willing to do things and risk your spouses losing rank than you truly are a horrible person.
gringaondacouch	3/15/2011 5:31:26 PM
it doesn't matter if you agree with them or not, people. its what should be happening.
nakytasmom	3/16/2011 5:17:25 PM
WOW- I have never felt more ashamed while reading this and my husband is just an E-4 in the Guards. I am glad I came across this article. YOU GIVE RESPECT TO ALL MILITARY. For those that say they hate the military on here, well, you know what, quit sniveling and realize this.. that soldier that you married at one point or another, he or she is fighting for your country and volunteered to put himself or herself on that front line to risk dying so you can sit on websites like this and put my husband and other spouses down. I love my soldier more then anything other then my kids. When he wears that uniform and Im standing next to him, I am more prouder then he is to wear that uniform, because of what he represents and why he wears that uniform. My husband is getting deployed in less then a year and although Im going to miss him tremondously, I will stand beside him every step of the way and be here proudly waiting for his return.We get frustrated with some of the rules that the military has, but we dont diss the military, nor do we use such language that has been used on here today. Question is: Where did you learn respect, because your parents sure didnt teach you, you seemed to have missed that lesson at the dinner table. And if these rules werent in place, our military would be chaos, there are reasons, some of these rules have been in place for so many years. Its because they have been found to WORK...ladies or men, if you dont have respect for what your servicemember does, then get out of the military life. There are those that bite the bullet, close our mouths, and enjoy our spouses dady by day, minute by minute, because we know when they get deployed, we may never see them again. In approximately two hours, I get to hug and kiss my soldier. Im so looking forward to that moment...
JustBe	4/13/2011 12:21:15 AM
Several hundred years???
JustBe	4/13/2011 12:21:24 AM
Several hundred years???
	5/5/2011 6:15:46 PM
I have been a military spouse for well over 20 years. This is an excellent article that should not be taken lightly. Military is serious business and if you cannot accept the responsiblity that comes with being a military spouse, this is not the life for you. I am not, nor will ever be, a fan of divorce, but think of your life before the I do's and make the decision THEN to live the militay life the way it is intended. Learn these rules and live by them. Your direct actions reflect on him and vice versa. Being a military man/woman and being the SPOUSE of one, is the highest honor bestowed on us. Treat it accordingly. He not only deserves the respect of the nation and every American citizen in it, but also from you, the spouse. Treat him like the hero he is and make him as proud of you as you are of him.
momof3boys	5/5/2011 6:25:49 PM
Not sure why my comment above at 6:15 on 5/5/2011 did not have my name, but it is momof3boys. (another title I hold, second to Military Spouse)
Madolyn.A.Roberts	5/12/2011 10:36:31 AM
I'm glad this is up, the number of times my husband has been hesitant on PDA during homecomings and good-byes is a littole ridiculous Im definately going to inform him those are the exceptions, same with the elbow lock i read in someones comment, his Navy brother told us that when he graduated basic and my husband was reluctant to do it. Well now I know so when we have kids about the strolller, though i do normally enjoy pushing them myself even if its just a neice.
Krys	5/12/2011 9:30:38 PM
i think some of that stuff is stupid like not holding hands!!! im sorry but i agree with some of the comments i read our husbands or wives are gone too much for us to not want to hold hands the black umbrella thing is just weird and men are always polite and hold the heavy stuff... my husband refuses to let me hold anything unless i have to cause he is a gentleman and as far as pushing a stroller goes how is that "unmilitary" ???????? just because they are a solider does not mean that they arent a parent too and our kids still want daddy or mommy to do lots of things for him like while my husband was home our son only wanted daddy to carry him kids dont care what clothes a person is in they just care that they get to be close to mommy or daddy cause they are gone so much!
Krys	5/12/2011 9:30:48 PM
i think some of that stuff is stupid like not holding hands!!! im sorry but i agree with some of the comments i read our husbands or wives are gone too much for us to not want to hold hands the black umbrella thing is just weird and men are always polite and hold the heavy stuff... my husband refuses to let me hold anything unless i have to cause he is a gentleman and as far as pushing a stroller goes how is that "unmilitary" ???????? just because they are a solider does not mean that they arent a parent too and our kids still want daddy or mommy to do lots of things for him like while my husband was home our son only wanted daddy to carry him kids dont care what clothes a person is in they just care that they get to be close to mommy or daddy cause they are gone so much!
cav-wife28	6/25/2011 10:04:34 AM
I am a big fan of the military and its structure but some of these rules are just ridiculous!
cardinal	8/1/2011 11:21:57 PM
I have a question, why are there all of these rules for military spouses when we are civilians. They tells us all the time, when it is convient for them, we are civilians, but we are suppose to follow rules, what gives? The second question is why can't we call people sir. It is a sign of respect and so.... I am confused
cardinal	8/1/2011 11:22:07 PM
I have a question, why are there all of these rules for military spouses when we are civilians. They tells us all the time, when it is convient for them, we are civilians, but we are suppose to follow rules, what gives? The second question is why can't we call people sir. It is a sign of respect and so.... I am confused
cardinal	8/1/2011 11:29:51 PM
I realize my last comment kinda sounds rude. i don't mean it to be- i understand being polite, but i am honestly confused.
XOArmyWife	9/5/2011 7:03:51 PM
Now I see why my husband always makes me walk on the right side...hmph. Great article :)
prdmomof2	9/19/2011 7:26:39 AM
I have been a military spouse for 14 years. My husband is a live by the book kinda guy, so we have followed most of these rules. HOwever, I will say the Army has changed and most people don't live by these rules anymore..just the older bunch:). Someone posted they were not in the military..yep your right your not but if someoneone wanted to be a jerk and enforce one of these rules your husband would be the one getting in trouble bc he should know the rules and abide by them. With that being said..there are a couple that are so not true and bogus. Like DO NOT call officers Sir or Ma'am. There are many people who were raised to say yes sir, no ma'am etc..Since my husband does everything by the book, he would have corrected me for the get go if I was not suppose to address an officer in that way.
prdmomof2	9/19/2011 7:26:49 AM
I have been a military spouse for 14 years. My husband is a live by the book kinda guy, so we have followed most of these rules. HOwever, I will say the Army has changed and most people don't live by these rules anymore..just the older bunch:). Someone posted they were not in the military..yep your right your not but if someoneone wanted to be a jerk and enforce one of these rules your husband would be the one getting in trouble bc he should know the rules and abide by them. With that being said..there are a couple that are so not true and bogus. Like DO NOT call officers Sir or Ma'am. There are many people who were raised to say yes sir, no ma'am etc..Since my husband does everything by the book, he would have corrected me for the get go if I was not suppose to address an officer in that way.
prdmomof2	9/19/2011 7:26:59 AM
I have been a military spouse for 14 years. My husband is a live by the book kinda guy, so we have followed most of these rules. HOwever, I will say the Army has changed and most people don't live by these rules anymore..just the older bunch:). Someone posted they were not in the military..yep your right your not but if someoneone wanted to be a jerk and enforce one of these rules your husband would be the one getting in trouble bc he should know the rules and abide by them. With that being said..there are a couple that are so not true and bogus. Like DO NOT call officers Sir or Ma'am. There are many people who were raised to say yes sir, no ma'am etc..Since my husband does everything by the book, he would have corrected me for the get go if I was not suppose to address an officer in that way.
prdmomof2	9/19/2011 7:27:09 AM
I have been a military spouse for 14 years. My husband is a live by the book kinda guy, so we have followed most of these rules. HOwever, I will say the Army has changed and most people don't live by these rules anymore..just the older bunch:). Someone posted they were not in the military..yep your right your not but if someoneone wanted to be a jerk and enforce one of these rules your husband would be the one getting in trouble bc he should know the rules and abide by them. With that being said..there are a couple that are so not true and bogus. Like DO NOT call officers Sir or Ma'am. There are many people who were raised to say yes sir, no ma'am etc..Since my husband does everything by the book, he would have corrected me for the get go if I was not suppose to address an officer in that way.
DEAR-REALITY12	11/3/2011 6:07:18 PM
Are you kidding me, My husband will push the stroller. 6yrs of marriage and hes been gone for 3 we have two kids, I need a break too. For god sakes this is the dumbest thing I have ever heard feel sorry for those who follow these rules..... It's a joke.
since031406	11/12/2011 4:48:08 PM
All i gotta say is wow.. ok some of these are well common sense. i mean the whole walking the left side of him. ya you will get hit in the face if you dont. not on purpose but its a instinct on them. i mean sometimes i will walk on his right side but then i will move to his left side right away or move out of the way. since im shorter than him i had a few elbows to the eye. The carry the stuff.. screw that yes i know its tradition and im raise that way too and its tradition for a gentlemen to carry the ladies stuff. yes its the military manners and all most of us married the man before the military. people dont tell me to try and be in his shoes. done that already. i was once like a few of these ladies that hate the military. all the men in my family are or was in the military and i hated it. my brother has ptsd or whatever you call it and i hated the army because of it cause he wasnt my brother anymore when he got back. but my hubby love the army so much and i care for him that much that i put some my feeling aside and learn and try to understand their ways. i went to his first drill when he first got out of ait. " yes he did get in trouble but he really didnt know i wasnt suppose to be there" but i was there and since we were still in high school " split ops ladies" they gave him just a warning after beating his face " you should know what that means ladies" well i learn a few stuff and i meet all of his battle buddies including the higher ups. and the more i learn just by being by his side and watching the more i learn that its not that bad.i really hated the military then to a passion that before in high school when the recruits will talk in our classes i will challenge every word. and they dont tell you a lot of stuff and they all just turn red and always ask me how i know about these things after class i just tell them straight out. do i look like im fucking dumb i may be young but not retarded. As for the umbrella thing hell no. he can hold his old damn umbrella nah just kidding but seriously he will never ask me that question or take my offer because not only am i only 4'11 and he is 5'11 but he wont let me stay there holding an umbrella and im tip toeing. my husband will carry some things as well and we cant help if both hands are full but like what one lady said its different with all duty stations. and he will just acknowledge his high ups in a different way but that still shows that you have been seen and knowledge. as for his name... i have to call him by our last name simply because most of his unit gets confuse on who is who. there are more than one person by the same name. is last name is good. as for pushing the stroller.. it shows he is a family man and thats his priority.if im too busy i will let him push that stroller. in uniform or not. only time i will not make him push is when he is in his dress unition " i forgot the term sorry" because i worked my ass off in straighten his dress uniform and i put his pins in the right way too. " ya i know where they how they suppose to look and everything" as for the stand in public funtions not true. is when you see the flag or hear them sing your suppose to stop what your doing,like stop driving, stand and salute, etc... and last and not least the showing affection. dont get me wrong. the military grew on me and i understand enough to not bitch and complain but I WILL MAKE OUT WITH MY HUSBAND WHEN I WANT AND AS LONG AS I WANT PERIOD! its a marriage were not married to the military i didnt say i do to uncle sam. And yes even tho he did sign up on his own free will but i will not change who i am just to make other people happy. you cannot make everyone happy ya know. i do have respect for the military and im proud of my honey for fighting for freedom but i wont change who i am for a that.
since031406	11/12/2011 4:48:25 PM
All i gotta say is wow.. ok some of these are well common sense. i mean the whole walking the left side of him. ya you will get hit in the face if you dont. not on purpose but its a instinct on them. i mean sometimes i will walk on his right side but then i will move to his left side right away or move out of the way. since im shorter than him i had a few elbows to the eye. The carry the stuff.. screw that yes i know its tradition and im raise that way too and its tradition for a gentlemen to carry the ladies stuff. yes its the military manners and all most of us married the man before the military. people dont tell me to try and be in his shoes. done that already. i was once like a few of these ladies that hate the military. all the men in my family are or was in the military and i hated it. my brother has ptsd or whatever you call it and i hated the army because of it cause he wasnt my brother anymore when he got back. but my hubby love the army so much and i care for him that much that i put some my feeling aside and learn and try to understand their ways. i went to his first drill when he first got out of ait. " yes he did get in trouble but he really didnt know i wasnt suppose to be there" but i was there and since we were still in high school " split ops ladies" they gave him just a warning after beating his face " you should know what that means ladies" well i learn a few stuff and i meet all of his battle buddies including the higher ups. and the more i learn just by being by his side and watching the more i learn that its not that bad.i really hated the military then to a passion that before in high school when the recruits will talk in our classes i will challenge every word. and they dont tell you a lot of stuff and they all just turn red and always ask me how i know about these things after class i just tell them straight out. do i look like im fucking dumb i may be young but not retarded. As for the umbrella thing hell no. he can hold his old damn umbrella nah just kidding but seriously he will never ask me that question or take my offer because not only am i only 4'11 and he is 5'11 but he wont let me stay there holding an umbrella and im tip toeing. my husband will carry some things as well and we cant help if both hands are full but like what one lady said its different with all duty stations. and he will just acknowledge his high ups in a different way but that still shows that you have been seen and knowledge. as for his name... i have to call him by our last name simply because most of his unit gets confuse on who is who. there are more than one person by the same name. is last name is good. as for pushing the stroller.. it shows he is a family man and thats his priority.if im too busy i will let him push that stroller. in uniform or not. only time i will not make him push is when he is in his dress unition " i forgot the term sorry" because i worked my ass off in straighten his dress uniform and i put his pins in the right way too. " ya i know where they how they suppose to look and everything" as for the stand in public funtions not true. is when you see the flag or hear them sing your suppose to stop what your doing,like stop driving, stand and salute, etc... and last and not least the showing affection. dont get me wrong. the military grew on me and i understand enough to not bitch and complain but I WILL MAKE OUT WITH MY HUSBAND WHEN I WANT AND AS LONG AS I WANT PERIOD! its a marriage were not married to the military i didnt say i do to uncle sam. And yes even tho he did sign up on his own free will but i will not change who i am just to make other people happy. you cannot make everyone happy ya know. i do have respect for the military and im proud of my honey for fighting for freedom but i wont change who i am for a that.
since031406	11/12/2011 4:48:35 PM
All i gotta say is wow.. ok some of these are well common sense. i mean the whole walking the left side of him. ya you will get hit in the face if you dont. not on purpose but its a instinct on them. i mean sometimes i will walk on his right side but then i will move to his left side right away or move out of the way. since im shorter than him i had a few elbows to the eye. The carry the stuff.. screw that yes i know its tradition and im raise that way too and its tradition for a gentlemen to carry the ladies stuff. yes its the military manners and all most of us married the man before the military. people dont tell me to try and be in his shoes. done that already. i was once like a few of these ladies that hate the military. all the men in my family are or was in the military and i hated it. my brother has ptsd or whatever you call it and i hated the army because of it cause he wasnt my brother anymore when he got back. but my hubby love the army so much and i care for him that much that i put some my feeling aside and learn and try to understand their ways. i went to his first drill when he first got out of ait. " yes he did get in trouble but he really didnt know i wasnt suppose to be there" but i was there and since we were still in high school " split ops ladies" they gave him just a warning after beating his face " you should know what that means ladies" well i learn a few stuff and i meet all of his battle buddies including the higher ups. and the more i learn just by being by his side and watching the more i learn that its not that bad.i really hated the military then to a passion that before in high school when the recruits will talk in our classes i will challenge every word. and they dont tell you a lot of stuff and they all just turn red and always ask me how i know about these things after class i just tell them straight out. do i look like im fucking dumb i may be young but not retarded. As for the umbrella thing hell no. he can hold his old damn umbrella nah just kidding but seriously he will never ask me that question or take my offer because not only am i only 4'11 and he is 5'11 but he wont let me stay there holding an umbrella and im tip toeing. my husband will carry some things as well and we cant help if both hands are full but like what one lady said its different with all duty stations. and he will just acknowledge his high ups in a different way but that still shows that you have been seen and knowledge. as for his name... i have to call him by our last name simply because most of his unit gets confuse on who is who. there are more than one person by the same name. is last name is good. as for pushing the stroller.. it shows he is a family man and thats his priority.if im too busy i will let him push that stroller. in uniform or not. only time i will not make him push is when he is in his dress unition " i forgot the term sorry" because i worked my ass off in straighten his dress uniform and i put his pins in the right way too. " ya i know where they how they suppose to look and everything" as for the stand in public funtions not true. is when you see the flag or hear them sing your suppose to stop what your doing,like stop driving, stand and salute, etc... and last and not least the showing affection. dont get me wrong. the military grew on me and i understand enough to not bitch and complain but I WILL MAKE OUT WITH MY HUSBAND WHEN I WANT AND AS LONG AS I WANT PERIOD! its a marriage were not married to the military i didnt say i do to uncle sam. And yes even tho he did sign up on his own free will but i will not change who i am just to make other people happy. you cannot make everyone happy ya know. i do have respect for the military and im proud of my honey for fighting for freedom but i wont change who i am for a that.
since031406	11/12/2011 4:48:46 PM
All i gotta say is wow.. ok some of these are well common sense. i mean the whole walking the left side of him. ya you will get hit in the face if you dont. not on purpose but its a instinct on them. i mean sometimes i will walk on his right side but then i will move to his left side right away or move out of the way. since im shorter than him i had a few elbows to the eye. The carry the stuff.. screw that yes i know its tradition and im raise that way too and its tradition for a gentlemen to carry the ladies stuff. yes its the military manners and all most of us married the man before the military. people dont tell me to try and be in his shoes. done that already. i was once like a few of these ladies that hate the military. all the men in my family are or was in the military and i hated it. my brother has ptsd or whatever you call it and i hated the army because of it cause he wasnt my brother anymore when he got back. but my hubby love the army so much and i care for him that much that i put some my feeling aside and learn and try to understand their ways. i went to his first drill when he first got out of ait. " yes he did get in trouble but he really didnt know i wasnt suppose to be there" but i was there and since we were still in high school " split ops ladies" they gave him just a warning after beating his face " you should know what that means ladies" well i learn a few stuff and i meet all of his battle buddies including the higher ups. and the more i learn just by being by his side and watching the more i learn that its not that bad.i really hated the military then to a passion that before in high school when the recruits will talk in our classes i will challenge every word. and they dont tell you a lot of stuff and they all just turn red and always ask me how i know about these things after class i just tell them straight out. do i look like im fucking dumb i may be young but not retarded. As for the umbrella thing hell no. he can hold his old damn umbrella nah just kidding but seriously he will never ask me that question or take my offer because not only am i only 4'11 and he is 5'11 but he wont let me stay there holding an umbrella and im tip toeing. my husband will carry some things as well and we cant help if both hands are full but like what one lady said its different with all duty stations. and he will just acknowledge his high ups in a different way but that still shows that you have been seen and knowledge. as for his name... i have to call him by our last name simply because most of his unit gets confuse on who is who. there are more than one person by the same name. is last name is good. as for pushing the stroller.. it shows he is a family man and thats his priority.if im too busy i will let him push that stroller. in uniform or not. only time i will not make him push is when he is in his dress unition " i forgot the term sorry" because i worked my ass off in straighten his dress uniform and i put his pins in the right way too. " ya i know where they how they suppose to look and everything" as for the stand in public funtions not true. is when you see the flag or hear them sing your suppose to stop what your doing,like stop driving, stand and salute, etc... and last and not least the showing affection. dont get me wrong. the military grew on me and i understand enough to not bitch and complain but I WILL MAKE OUT WITH MY HUSBAND WHEN I WANT AND AS LONG AS I WANT PERIOD! its a marriage were not married to the military i didnt say i do to uncle sam. And yes even tho he did sign up on his own free will but i will not change who i am just to make other people happy. you cannot make everyone happy ya know. i do have respect for the military and im proud of my honey for fighting for freedom but i wont change who i am for a that.
since031406	11/12/2011 4:48:57 PM
All i gotta say is wow.. ok some of these are well common sense. i mean the whole walking the left side of him. ya you will get hit in the face if you dont. not on purpose but its a instinct on them. i mean sometimes i will walk on his right side but then i will move to his left side right away or move out of the way. since im shorter than him i had a few elbows to the eye. The carry the stuff.. screw that yes i know its tradition and im raise that way too and its tradition for a gentlemen to carry the ladies stuff. yes its the military manners and all most of us married the man before the military. people dont tell me to try and be in his shoes. done that already. i was once like a few of these ladies that hate the military. all the men in my family are or was in the military and i hated it. my brother has ptsd or whatever you call it and i hated the army because of it cause he wasnt my brother anymore when he got back. but my hubby love the army so much and i care for him that much that i put some my feeling aside and learn and try to understand their ways. i went to his first drill when he first got out of ait. " yes he did get in trouble but he really didnt know i wasnt suppose to be there" but i was there and since we were still in high school " split ops ladies" they gave him just a warning after beating his face " you should know what that means ladies" well i learn a few stuff and i meet all of his battle buddies including the higher ups. and the more i learn just by being by his side and watching the more i learn that its not that bad.i really hated the military then to a passion that before in high school when the recruits will talk in our classes i will challenge every word. and they dont tell you a lot of stuff and they all just turn red and always ask me how i know about these things after class i just tell them straight out. do i look like im fucking dumb i may be young but not retarded. As for the umbrella thing hell no. he can hold his old damn umbrella nah just kidding but seriously he will never ask me that question or take my offer because not only am i only 4'11 and he is 5'11 but he wont let me stay there holding an umbrella and im tip toeing. my husband will carry some things as well and we cant help if both hands are full but like what one lady said its different with all duty stations. and he will just acknowledge his high ups in a different way but that still shows that you have been seen and knowledge. as for his name... i have to call him by our last name simply because most of his unit gets confuse on who is who. there are more than one person by the same name. is last name is good. as for pushing the stroller.. it shows he is a family man and thats his priority.if im too busy i will let him push that stroller. in uniform or not. only time i will not make him push is when he is in his dress unition " i forgot the term sorry" because i worked my ass off in straighten his dress uniform and i put his pins in the right way too. " ya i know where they how they suppose to look and everything" as for the stand in public funtions not true. is when you see the flag or hear them sing your suppose to stop what your doing,like stop driving, stand and salute, etc... and last and not least the showing affection. dont get me wrong. the military grew on me and i understand enough to not bitch and complain but I WILL MAKE OUT WITH MY HUSBAND WHEN I WANT AND AS LONG AS I WANT PERIOD! its a marriage were not married to the military i didnt say i do to uncle sam. And yes even tho he did sign up on his own free will but i will not change who i am just to make other people happy. you cannot make everyone happy ya know. i do have respect for the military and im proud of my honey for fighting for freedom but i wont change who i am for a that.
since031406	11/12/2011 4:58:34 PM
oops sorry i just realize i repost more than once. lol. im not trying to insult those ladies that are in it hardcore because i only been a military spouse for 4 going on 5 years now. so thats still consider newbie. and i just gotten over the emotion crappy feeling of his annual training just got to learn about deployment. but all im just trying to point out is that. think of it from both sides of everything thats when you can truly understand. and ya the higher ups can tell him to beat his face just cause were kissing on stuff. i will encourage it. lol its gets me going seeing him work out :P
malenabelle	12/11/2011 11:58:03 PM
What are you crazy?!? No one knows my husband by his first name; if I were to say I am Christopher's wife everyone would look at me quizically and pretend they knew who I was talking about when they really don't. Also, the stroller rule is beyond ridiculous. I agree with many spouses on here who express their childrens' need for their fathers to spend that time and effort with them no matter how small the act- and working mothers included, it would be preposterous to not expect the father/soldier to push the stroller. And referring to others, especially elders, as sir and ma'am is how I grew up as a means of showing respect and I will not discontinue that practice; I don't pretend to know every symbol for every rank and therefore cannot be expected to call everyone by their rank and last name.
	12/19/2011 5:06:01 PM
Actually OUR orders do state that he is authorized to travel with dependents so hmpfh they are OUR orders!!!
	12/19/2011 5:06:12 PM
Actually OUR orders do state that he is authorized to travel with dependents so hmpfh they are OUR orders!!!
schoch_fam	1/11/2012 4:45:23 PM
Loved this article! I am going to have to find the book that someone had mentioned earlier, I believe it's the "Army Wife Handbook". I've been an Army wife for 2 years but known my Husband since we were 9, and he told me quite a few of these Rules before he took me anywhere in Uniform. A few of his SSGT's, Mjr's, and Captains have asked me to call them by their first name instead of their Rank because I wasn't in the Military. (They asked Politely) They said I was a Civilian so I didn't have to speak to them as a Soldier <3 I truly LOVE being a Military WIfe and both my Husband and I have strong Military Backgrounds. I hope to read more!
schoch_fam	1/11/2012 4:45:34 PM
Loved this article! I am going to have to find the book that someone had mentioned earlier, I believe it's the "Army Wife Handbook". I've been an Army wife for 2 years but known my Husband since we were 9, and he told me quite a few of these Rules before he took me anywhere in Uniform. A few of his SSGT's, Mjr's, and Captains have asked me to call them by their first name instead of their Rank because I wasn't in the Military. (They asked Politely) They said I was a Civilian so I didn't have to speak to them as a Soldier <3 I truly LOVE being a Military WIfe and both my Husband and I have strong Military Backgrounds. I hope to read more!
JCJM	1/25/2012 6:45:22 PM
It's a matter of respect for the uniform, and your husband. My husband is an officer, and I have never felt it to be burden to maintain military decorum. I know it's all politics, but I want my husband to succeed and as his wife I want to support him...as well as be his helpmate...old fashioned or not. My father was a senior NCO, and I have a great respect for my husband's career.
JCJM	1/25/2012 6:45:35 PM
It's a matter of respect for the uniform, and your husband. My husband is an officer, and I have never felt it to be burden to maintain military decorum. I know it's all politics, but I want my husband to succeed and as his wife I want to support him...as well as be his helpmate...old fashioned or not. My father was a senior NCO, and I have a great respect for my husband's career.
JCJM	1/25/2012 6:45:48 PM
It's a matter of respect for the uniform, and your husband. My husband is an officer, and I have never felt it to be burden to maintain military decorum. I know it's all politics, but I want my husband to succeed and as his wife I want to support him...as well as be his helpmate...old fashioned or not. My father was a senior NCO, and I have a great respect for my husband's career.

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