To Work, or Not to Work?
Military spouses weigh in.
by Jennifer L. See
Cristina Mullenix is taking her new role as a working mother day by day. An Army spouse stationed at Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington, D.C., Mullenix spent six years at home with her two boys, now 7 and 9. After much thought, she recently enrolled in nursing school full time at the University of Maryland—a clear divergence from her former life as an art teacher. “I realized my sons would be growing up, and I thought, ‘What am I going to do?’” she says. “I enjoyed being home, but I needed to serve in a different capacity. It was a good time for me to do it, and I was ready.”
Going back to work means making choices, often between fulfilling obligations as an employee and fulfilling other obligations as a parent. “I don’t help out with the boys’ classes as much,” Mullenix says. “I do miss that. I do miss being there. But once I am done with school, I’ll have the autonomy [as a nurse] so that I can choose my schedule.”
Parents of school-age children or not, other military spouses are happy to be in the work force and have no plans to leave. “I am a career-minded individual,” says Lisa DesLauriers, the working mother of a 12-year-old girl and an Army spouse currently stationed at Fort Hood, Texas. DesLauriers stayed at home until her daughter was 18 months old and then reentered the work force; she has never looked back. “It was harder for me to be a stay-at-home mom. I know my strengths and weaknesses, and I didn’t excel at it. I excel better in a career atmosphere,” she says.
While some spouses struggle with whether to work, for many families, having a spouse stay at home is not financially feasible. Marine spouse Sarah Strom is a recruiter for a firm in Reston, Va., and she and her husband depend on her income to pay their bills. “We knew when we had children, it wouldn’t be an option for me to stay at home,” she says.
Still other moms feel guilty working, says Allison Schwartz, an executive and life coach in Beverly Hills, Calif. Schwartz says there are constant pressures from society telling mothers what they should and should not do, but people have to do what is best for them. “The best moms are the happiest moms, whether they are working moms or stay-at-home moms,” she says. “Just be the best example you can be by going after what makes you happy. By doing so, you are teaching your children one of the greatest lessons they can learn.”