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HomecomingThe Homecoming

Anticipating and preparing for his arrival. 

by Nikki Lomax-Larson

 

My husband is on his way home for two weeks of R&R after almost eight months in Baghdad. 

Home.

Safe.

I’ll get a reprieve from the constant worry that has held my life in a vice-grip since his departure last fall.  For two weeks I may be able to sleep without using sleeping pills, or waking from nightmares in a cold sweat.

This past week we received confirmation of his R&R dates, and it’s been a whirlwind ever since.  As military wives, we all know what goes into preparing for a homecoming, both physically and emotionally.  A few months ago I wasn't sure I was ready for him to come home.  They'd just announced the extensions and I was in a pit of depression.  We were both in our deployment "groove."  Having your spouse come home in the middle of that groove can seriously throw things out of whack; it can take months to get the ship righted again.  But the closer it got, the more excited I became. 

And here we are.

He's almost home.

First things first:  Me.  What should I wear to the airport?  I spent all of last Saturday at the mall buying girly clothes.  I'm usually a “jeans and T-shirt” chick, but I thought a skirt would surprise him as he comes down the ramp.  I must really miss him:  I walked out of Macy's with three skirts, matching froo-froo shirts, two pairs of strappy sandals and a very tired debit card.

I'll be a skirt-wearing fool for the next 14 days.

Next on the list?  The house got a scrub-down from top to bottom, and nothing was spared.  I spent one whole evening scrubbing the grout in my kitchen tile with a toothbrush and a bottle of bleach.  Sadly, I was sober.  I washed his civilian clothes and prepared them for use.  He tells me he can't wait to wear jeans again.

The yard work is all done thanks to the help of one of my neighbors.  He came over one evening to help me mow, weed, hedge, edge, trim, pot flowers and clean-up our backyard patio and grill.  He didn't want my husband to have to do yard work while he's home.

I went grocery shopping and filled the pantry and refrigerator with all his favorite foods and beverages.  I stocked up on fresh fruits and veggies.  I took special care in stocking his favorite beer, something he hasn't had since he left.  All his favorite wines have been carefully arranged in his wine chiller.  I cleaned, washed and vacuumed-out my car as to spare myself the typical car-maintenance lecture on the way home from the airport.

The day he is due home, I will wait for THE CALL that informs me of his arrival time at the airport.


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User comments:

Tabatha273/12/2008 12:20:02 PM
wow...that sounded soooo much like me lol...i had to smile while i was readin it :0)
SF Wife3/12/2008 1:57:35 PM
wow is right I to had to smile and let out a little laugh. That has been my life for the past 19 1/2 yrs and it never changes. It is a blessing when they come home though and well worth all the work that we have done just to please our soldiers.
panheadz_rock3/12/2008 6:43:07 PM
I read this in hopes that I might read something else I should be doing. I guess I have it all covered though. Got my clothes, working on cleaning and stocking the pantry and wishing the snow away to clean the yard. Good luck!
lsr1213/12/2008 6:44:53 PM
yup, that was me too. i went crazy for a good two weeks before he got home buying things for him - deodorant, a toothbrush, shaving cream!!! i started freaking out because i forgot to get him razors. i had to yell at myself a couple times to remind me that he is going to be bringing those things with him! dont get me starting on the thinking that he needed all these warm clothes (as if he didnt have sweaters and jackets already!)
bybeea3/16/2008 3:46:04 PM
At least you knew when yours was coming home. Mine called me from the airport and asked to be picked up!! I was on my way home from the gym and grocery store, with a four month old baby... I did manage to get showered and at least not smell bad when I got him. It was a blessing and a nightmare at the same time.
MrsAdamson3/18/2008 10:36:21 AM
Wow. That sounds just like me. I'm a perfectionist and I ALWAYS what EVERYTHING to be perfect when my hubby comes home...even if he is gone for only a few weeks. I'm glad I'm not the only one running around like crazy cleaning, organizing, shopping and decorating while exhausting myself to death. And stressing!! It's alot of hard work! And sometimes...we aren't even sure if our boys notice everything we've done when they get home. We just like to make everything perfect for them.
Schultz5/27/2008 7:02:09 AM
I normally do pretty much everything when my husband is about to come home... from TDY's or Deployments... However, I've come to realize that while he seems to for some unknown reason, think I am Super Woman... I ain't. I've learned to take a step back and ensure I am not overly tired. Most of the time I think that while the beer in the fridge is important, having a wife who is ready to spend time doing things my husband enjoys is much more important to him then making sure the water stains on the bathroom walls are gone. Just try to remember that even though they will be tired for the first one or two days, they are going to want you to have the energy to do the things they really missed doing! My husband will be home today!!! I am so excited, I woke up at 4 AM and didn't even WANT to, it's like Christmas morning as a kid for me! I am up now, putting finishing touches on all the decorations... He actually asked me not to clean the bedroom because a messy bed and my clothes from the night before make him feel at home. I give in to what he needs and wants, not what I think should be perfect!
Alice5/27/2008 10:47:01 AM
So true!!! The hardest part though is when the arrival date gets pushed back...once your to-do list is complete and you're emotionally ready for the homecoming, getting that call that the flights have been delayed is pretty heartbreaking.
KimiSue8/12/2008 3:42:28 PM
wow, word for word, what we all have done, some more times than others. :) but EXACTLY how the anticipation affects us.
zDiane8/12/2008 7:49:29 PM
I am going through this right now! I should have learned from the first deployment that he doesn't care if the house is spotless or not. He just wants to be home. But I still goes nuts to make everything just right. He called me and said I know that you are making the house spick and span but leave it a little messy, I thought he was nuts but he said that he would rather have a messy house than a wife that is too tired to enjoy him being home. What a sweety!
MrsDocNavyGuy8/12/2008 9:57:49 PM
I am there now! Three more days and he will be here... I hope! You know how it is, he can't tell me what the details are. OK so why is it I can't get the house clean? Why is it I'm the only one that feels the anxiety? Will he care if there are toys in the living room and makeup on the bathroom counter? Bravo to you ladies that are superwomen, I wish I were more like you! I just hate that the three year old wants to go out and play and the baby just wants mama to hold him.
tjbake2/27/2009 10:44:37 AM
Yes, this is all true for me, however I have calmed down these past few years. Out of 15yrs I have always wanted everything to be in a nice clean place. But have quickly learned that my husband does not care if its not all perfect as it take only 2mins for the house to be trashed again by all his gear. Yes he does like it when I do special things for him as the kids and I enjoy this all, but its difficult at times becuase of not knowing when he comes home to plan. So we just do our best of guessing and keep things as clean as possible to surprise him. Decorations can be up for weeks before he comes home, so if plans have changed we are ready. Best wishes to you all and God Bless.
coffeeclimber3/10/2009 9:04:23 PM
Haha! That is SO going to be me in 2 and a half months !
Alansarmywife9/9/2009 2:03:02 AM
I'm afraid this is going to be me in 7 months when my DH is coming home for R&R. This is our first deployment and I'm already thinking about things I need to do, food I need to have ready for him, and what I'm going to wear.....But now I see from some of the comments that all of that will be great but what will be most important is to be well rested and not completely worn out so that we can enjoy our time together. Thanks for your advise!
Nicky9/10/2009 12:09:17 PM
Lol, that is too cute! I do the same thing though. Its so funny how we do all this to get ready for them and just making sure everything is perfect... ever wonder if the tables were to change if they would do the same for us??
courtie's-cutie069/11/2009 12:52:31 PM
I'm so excited for you that your Dh is coming home. I went through the same things you did when my DH came home for his R&R. I went shopping like crazy and I had the house spotless. I didn't even wear my shoes in because I knew I just finished cleaning it for him to walk all over it as he pleased. Mine is leaving next month but I don't get R&R this time due to it being a 4month tour....
armywifey_mommy9/13/2009 6:47:29 PM
my DH is comin home in 2 weeks for good. he's been in afghan for 9 months. I'm so nervous and ready at the same time. we have a 1yr old son and I'm use to takin care of our son myself.
EverhartsWife4/23/2010 6:53:13 PM
Everything you described was myself in March when my husband came home!
lee4/26/2010 2:48:48 PM
Lee ( A Proud Army Wife) My husband is comming home in less than 30 days now. I am so lossing it and I can tell. This is our second tour since 2006 to now.He came home the first time because his mom passed. This time he did the whole 400 days plus before training so I have not seen him. I am trying to keep things together and in order. It is just him myself and the dog now. After reading all the comments and looking in the mirror. I know he just wants to see me and home and nothing else matters. thank you for sharing.
NaelovesherArmyhusband4/26/2010 4:39:06 PM
I am astonished at how well I can relate to this article. I feel like I just stepped right into it, filling your shoes. WOW!

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