Teens and Deployment

Resources and opportunities.

By Michelle Sherman, Ph.D.

Teenagers experience a wide range of responses to their parents’ deployment and homecoming.  Depending on the length and course of the deployment, teens may have matured and changed a great deal during the parent’s absence.  Perhaps they’ve even gained new freedoms (such as driving), entered new developmental phases (such as puberty) and began new behaviors (such as dating).  Oftentimes the returning parent isn’t quite sure how to relate to this “all grown up” young person, and the teen may resent being disciplined or “babied” by the parent who’s been absent from his daily life for months or even years.

Many youth do very well amid all these changes, while others experience distress.  Some teens struggle with sadness and depression; others may be anxious, crabby, irritable or socially withdrawn.  Some may pretend that nothing bothers them, tending to spend more time with friends and extracurricular activities.  It’s tough to predict how any specific young person will respond, as so many factors affect a young person’s mood and behavior.  Children tend to fair better through tough times in life when they have strong social support, good coping skills, predictable routines and an optimistic outlook on life. 

Bottom line?  Everyone in the family is affected by a service member’s deployment and homecoming—and there are resources available for everyone!  Historically, however, there have been very few resources for teenagers. 

Guard Family Youth Website

www.GuardFamilyYouth.org

DOD Military Student Program

www.MilitaryStudent.dod.mil

Deployment Kids

www.DeploymentKids.com

And,

Finding My Way: A Teen’s Guide to Living with a Parent Who Has Experienced Trauma [Only available at SeedsOfHopeBooks.com]

            This award-winning, three-part interactive book for teens helps them understand how and why their parent may be so different after getting home from the war.  Although it’s not specific to combat, many military families are finding it invaluable in dealing with post-deployment challenges.