Military Wives: The strongest friendships
by Emily McKinley
A few months ago, my son welcomed me into motherhood. Moments after his birth, he was in the arms of his godmother. She is not my sibling, cousin or in-law. She is a fellow military wife. We are best friends.
A Recipe for Instant Friendship
Most friendships are mutually beneficial; that is, they create a sense of security and comfort for both parties. Friends often share parallel beliefs and engage in similar hobbies. They are a support, a crutch on which we can rely. Mix the common characteristics of friendship with deployments and dress blues and you will discover the bond military wives experience.
Military wives share common ground unrivaled in the civilian world. We move—not down the street or to the next town, not once or twice in our lifetime. No, we pack up and move our families cross-country, even across countries—three, four, sometimes ten times during our spouse’s career. We attempt to set-up home with the few belongings stowed in the trunk of our car. Once settled, we wait long hours for our spouses’ return from work, the field and deployments. We care for homesick children who long for their deployed parent and are terrified of attending a new school. We never leave home without a cell phone, lest we miss the singular, weekly call from our spouse. We know what a casualty notification call looks like, and we pray we never have to experience one. These are just some of the commonalities military wives share—commonalities capable of creating instant friendship.
An Unwritten Code
Like a sorority, we have a silent code of honor—a code marked by our willingness to open our hearts and homes to each other, bake a meal for the unit’s newest mother and share our shoulder with the woman across the street as she experiences a particularly trying time. A military spouse knows the satisfaction that comes from being independent, yet relishes the joyful dependency of marriage. Though we come from different backgrounds, we stand on common ground as military spouses.
One of the Greatest Sources of Comfort You’ll Ever Know
For those who have not yet experienced this distinct bond with another military spouse, I challenge you to step out of your comfort zone. Do not be afraid to mingle with those outside of your spouse’s unit, rank or age group. You may find that your best friend actually leads a very different life than you. Sometimes, the person you least expect to be friends with ends up being the one with whom you cannot imagine parting.
Once you find a special friend, hold onto her, regardless of moves, separation from the military and family additions. This friend is your link to many memories. She may be one of the greatest sources of comfort you will ever know. After all, she is a military spouse; some friendships are thicker than blood.