Staying In Touch With Extended Family

A few short tips to keep in mind

by Toni Wilcox

Before you get overwhelmed with holiday plans, take a look at these year-round suggestions:

• Help your family understand that your plans may have to change on short notice.  Sometimes, a simple explanation in advance about possible duty, or early departures, can head off a family confrontation. 
• Tolerate—even embrace—differences. Ask yourself, “Will this matter years from now?”
• Let traditions happen.    Also keep in mind, starting your own holiday traditions and visiting with family at a less stressful time of year is also a good option.
• Anticipate some difficulties with family dynamics. It could take a while for your family to understand that they need to share attention with your spouse’s family. You may need to ask both sets of grandparents to give you some time to bond as a family before they come to visit your new baby and the spouse you haven’t seen in six months.
• Have realistic expectations. If you travel, expect delays. Whether you travel or not, don’t expect things to be perfect. Your children and the cousins they loved last year may have to take some time to get to know one another again.
• Hang onto some family keepsakes. Moving often requires military children to let go of things that might otherwise find their way into an attic or garage to wait for the next generation. Don’t get trapped into thinking you have to arrange everything just so.
• Don’t forget e-mail and phone plans with unlimited long distance. They may not be able to use their thumbs to text-message at lightning speed, but tech-savvy grandparents have embraced e-mail and digital cameras
• Focus on the positive. With so many service members serving in hazardous places and families being subjected to long separations, it’s easy to forget the benefits of military life. A lot of military families have seen things civilian families can only dream of…alongside dancing sugarplums that is!