Special Occasions Apart
Ideas and ways to make it through celebrating apart.
by Whitney Bailey
Don’t be a slave to traditions.
Try to maintain traditions while your spouse is gone, but don’t fuss if every little detail isn’t the same as the year before. It’s important for children to see that the special occasions go on even when a parent is away.
Consider starting a new tradition for yourself, or make substitutions until you two can be together again. Instead of sitting at home on your anniversary, plan a girls’ night out. If you live alone, consider spending the special day with friends or relatives so you don’t wake up to an empty house.
Mutual participation is key.
If there’s a way you can include your spouse in the celebration, do it! Make and mail copies of your children’s letters to Santa. Swipe pieces of their Halloween candy (you know you do it) and mail them to your spouse. If you send out holiday cards or a newsletter, ask your spouse to write his own message and add it to the mailing.
Record everything.
If you both have access to a high-speed Internet connection, invest in a webcam and transmit your special moments. If a video camera is your only tool, take care to tape the action and forward it to your spouse. If you mail a tape or CD be sure to make a copy of it first. Your spouse may not be able to bring it back and he may be eager to enjoy the moments again when he returns. If a video isn’t possible, a simple written record of the day can go a long way in making him feel like he was there.
Don't worry about gifts arriving on time.
If possible, pack and mail special gifts two months in advance. Write "DO NOT OPEN UNTIL" in huge, bold letters on the box. If he opens his gift early, so what? He obviously needed a morale boost that day. And if the gift arrives two weeks late? As your mother always said, “It’s the thought that counts!”
Think outside the box.
Sending a gift to your spouse for his birthday is great, but there are other ways to celebrate. Bake his favorite cake and freeze a nice, large piece for him to enjoy when he returns. Take a picture of yourself blowing out the candles or sneaking some frosting. Let him know you and the cake are waiting for him when he gets home. If your spouse is short on storage space, send him a “parade of cards” (store-bought or homemade) featuring his favorite cartoon character, animal or theme. Create and include customized coupons for pampering upon homecoming.
Whatever you do, remember that special occasions are a time of celebration. Look for ways you can celebrate together; try not to dwell on the things that you can’t change. Do everything you can to make the holidays a special time for your spouse and you’ll find that they’re still a special time for you too.