Reunion Sex Tips

Sex is such a powerful, beautiful, instinctive way for couples to express love and intimacy.  It tends to be the focal point of homecoming fantasies.  But after being physically separated during a deployment, awkward moments are bound to occur.  Though post-deployment sex may come naturally for some, others may find it initially challenging.  If you focus on reestablishing intimacy, great sex will follow. 

A few tips:

1. Plan private time together without children, parents, friends or relatives.
2. Limit alcohol intake; too much reduces sex drive and performance.
3. Talk, cuddle, flirt.  Be playful!
4. Communicate your sexual desires.  Don’t rush into new positions.  Negotiate any experimentation.  Build trust and comfort.  Be patient and gentle.  Sex is more than just intercourse and orgasm.  Hugs, kisses, caresses and whispers express love, too.  Have fun and enjoy being with each other.
5. Take precautions against pregnancy (unless you’re planning one).
6. Remember that fatigue is common during initial reunion.  If your partner is too tired to be with you physically, it’s not a sign of rejection.  Sleep in each other’s arms or use another form of intimate touch to connect.
7. Resolve issues of anger, resentment, distrust, jealously or anxiety.  They greatly reduce your ability to be intimate and loving.
8. Be friends.  Look into each other’s eyes.
9. Say “I love you.”

*Adapted from Surviving Deployment and Life After Deployment by Karen Pavlicin.