Deployment - Romance Novels

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FINAL WEEK
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close 10/08/08!

Romance Novels

The literary “junk food” provides quivering mounds of supple flesh substitution

By Nikki Lomax-Larson, The Diary of Nikki

I’ve been an avid reader since my youth. My favorite childhood memory? Me. Hunkered under the covers--contraband flashlight in hand--reading the latest Black Stallion book in the Walter Farley series-long, loooooong after my parents had declared it “bedtime.” I was such a voracious reader that I was wearing bifocals by the third grade.

By high school, I had moved on to the required readings of English classes, and fell in love with most of the books. I somehow developed a love of Billy Shakes, and a loathing for William Faulkner. In college, I began a torrid love affair with the university library. Free books! Hundreds of thousands of them! All mine for the taking. I found that I could spend days in the stacks without coming up for air or food. Even now, the musty smell of libraries and bookstores gives me goose bumps.

Now, nearing my mid-thirties, I’ve got a huge crush on Harry Potter. (Hey, he’s almost legal!) I’ve developed some sort of bizarre fantasy that puts me in the middle of a Weasley-twins sandwich. I still love the Narnia books, and I’m almost done re-reading The Hobbit. Currently, I’m reading five books simultaneously.

But the one genre I never, ever touched was romance. I couldn’t bring myself to sample the “junk food” of the literary world. That was, until my husband deployed last October. And now I am hooked. Oh the shame! I am so desperate for romance and happy endings that I fork over good money to read about fictional characters “getting off.”

How do I know I’m an addict? Well, yesterday I dropped $100 on Nora Roberts’ books and some other "chick lit" books I found on sale. The call of the "BUY 4, GET THE 5TH FREE" sign was too great a temptation to resist, and I was scooping paperbacks with cheesy illustrated covers into my basket like a crackhead going after dime bags.

Like a corner junkie picking cigarette butts off the concrete, I found myself crouched down in the aisle at Borders. I hoped that no one would see me as I randomly picked books off the shelves, quickly assessed their rush-giving potential and either tossed them in my basket or back on the shelf. I probably looked guilty as hell, and ashamed too. Every time someone walked by the romance section I’d either duck or pretend to be looking at the books on tape. I even bought “books to cover the fact that I’m buying naughty books” books.

I doubt I fooled anyone. I definitely wasn’t fooling myself. I remember swearing that I’d never become one of "those women." Egads, I’m now one of "those women" who own more trashy, paperback bodice-rippers than classics.

Anyone know how to break this habit before hubby comes back?

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User comments:

Mrs. Cummings	2/13/2008 8:37:49 AM
Why break it? Now you have all sorts of great inspiration for a great homecoming. My aunt has been reading romance novels for years. You have inspired me to borrow from her stash.
paarng_wife	6/5/2008 3:53:54 PM
I'm so happy to know that I'm not the only book worm out there. Since my husband deployed I've picked up every genre except for romance. Thanks for the suggestion. I'm now headed to Borders to pick up even more books I'll probably never finish (I too am in the middle of 5). Or I can just borrow from my best friend's extensive collection that has taken over her parent's house. Love this idea!
ChestersGirl	10/1/2008 11:16:49 AM
As a romance author, I'm kind of offended! I read all kinds of books, too, but if you knew what it took to get pubbed in the romance world (or that we sell billions of dollars of "trash" each year--the highest marketshare) you might not be so ashamed. What's wrong with a happy ending???
bookgirl	10/1/2008 11:36:46 AM
LOL, this article was funny. But guess what, no one cares if you read romance anymore. It's the biggest selling genre - billions of dollars in market share out there. And it isn't called bodice ripper trash anymore either. Sorry but all of your self imposed humiliation and shaming was for nothing. And you can ditch the spotlight affect on yourself too, no one cares what you buy in the bookstore. Why be guilty for buying a good book with a happy ever after? Big deal? Sorry but your about 30 years too late in your "like omg I have such a dirty secret" dept.
Proud Erotic Writer	10/1/2008 11:39:59 PM
How could you liken romance to "junk food?" Your words spout so much filth when you talk about romance, yet subconsciously these books may be trying enlighten you to something you need since you're dropping $100 on them. I've been reading and writing romance since my teens and I have yet to drop that much money in a single setting. Romance is a beautiful thing as is Erotica. It is not crack unless you're trying to deny yourself something. Romance has gotten me through some very tough times when I was alone and as a writer, it helped me explore things about myself and for the most part it was therapy. It's hard work writing a book, even one which is based in romance, love and happily-ever-afters. First you have to write it, then you have to proof and edit it, then you have to solicit an agent to represent you to sell it to a publisher. Most writers go through scores of rejection letters before their book even sees a bookshelf. And if you think we do it for the money, think again. Many well-known authors still have day jobs or other sources of income. We don't do this for the money and anyone who thinks they'll get rich off this is either misinformed or cashing in on their or someone else's 15 minutes of fame. It isn't unusual for a well-known writer to have to work a 9-5, write during lunch hours, evenings after work and during weekends to put the so-called "cigarette butts" you are grabbing at like a crack addict out on the market. I'm proud of what I write. There is nothing wrong with fantasies be they romantic or sexual. It isn't a drug. It's a way of life if you allow it to be. My husband and I have plenty of romance and plenty of the other stuff too and I will sit right next to him and read them and write them. I even tell my friends about it and I hold my head high when I walk through the Romance aisle recognizing people I know who managed to get their hard work out on the bookshelves. I would seriously take a look at how you view sex and romance, because you sound seriously uptight to me. And if you're dreaming of a Weasley-sandwich, hmm? Whoa!

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