Online Support Systems
by Kristen McDonald
With the growing popularity of online forums, military wives can now engage in a very real form of support in a virtual world. Unlike their predecessors, today’s wives can take their support network with them every time they move, all over the globe. Gone are the days when a wife had to start from scratch with each and every PCS.
With active discussions and extensive resource pages, these sites provide wives with an abundance of knowledge, support and friendship. Support forums provide stability and continuity for a transient lifestyle that can rattle even the strongest and most experienced of wives. When the military gives the order to pack up and go, you can research everything about the base, the area, the schools and the moving process. You can question other members about specifics and gain valuable firsthand knowledge and advice. When your family arrives at the new duty station, you can rely on these online friends to help get situated and feel at home.
“No matter where I go, I don’t have to wonder if I will have friends or a support system while my husband is gone,” says Brandi Dupre, founder and member of an online support forum. “Knowing people at your new duty station, before you even get there, is something that would be very hard to do if it were not for sites like this, and it is something that is absolutely irreplaceable.”
Moving is just one obstacle demystified by these forums. Even more essential is the support a member receives while their spouse is deployed. Sometimes, it can feel like you are speaking a different language than your nonmilitary friends, and trying to explain things can grow tiresome. “The site members know what OPSEC means, and how to observe it. They understand what FRG, AIT, MOS and BAH mean. I don’t have to ‘translate’ for them because they are part of this lifestyle, too,” Army wife Jennifer Merkley says. Having a group that automatically understands what you are talking about can be a blessing when going through the difficult emotions of deployment.
As with any online communication, there are dangers. OPSEC must be followed to protect the service members. Since anyone with Internet access can attempt to join these sites, it is vital that details are not revealed regarding troop or ship movements, locations or identifying information. Most sites rely on several volunteers to monitor the discussion forums for any potentially dangerous posts. Just like in real-world conversations, spouses have to use common sense, carefully choosing their words and prioritizing the interests of the military and the safety of its members.
Friendship, information, advice, assistance, continuity and stability–all can be found on military spouse support sites. Dupre is proud of the support network she has created. She sums up the value of her site best when she says, “Being a part of this site has become one of the single most important things in my life as a military spouse. It has given me irreplaceable friendships that don’t just end at each duty station–and that’s worth more than I can put into words.”