Deployment Challenges
I'm trying to count my blessings while my husband's away, but it's not working.
by Sarah Smiley
As military wives, we face a lot of challenges. Sometimes our lives don’t seem fair. Yet as the old saying goes, when life gives you lemons, you have but one thing to do — stick them in your bra. No wait, that’s the wrong anecdote. When life gives you lemons, you have to chuck them at the wall. No, that’s wrong, too.
Anyway, the point is, when the military presents us with less-than-perfect situations, we have to make the most of it. I do this by counting the ways that my life is easier while my husband, Dustin, is deployed.
KEEPING THE HOUSE CLEAN
My husband is disorganized. Sometimes, in fact, having Dustin around is like having a third child. So when he is away, I savor the chance to mop the floors and clean the house, and have it stay that way for longer than a day. I walk into our closet and admire the way I’ve hung Dustin’s clothes, neatly arranged by color, size and season. I look at his shoes lined-up against the wall like little soldiers waiting for feet.
Oh, all right, it’s nice for a week — maybe two — but sometimes, if Dustin’s been gone too long, I admit that I squirt shaving cream on the counter and let it dry, just so I can smell it and think of him. What can I say? My system isn’t perfect.
SHOPPING
Once, when Dustin returned home from a six-month deployment, the first thing he said after going into our closet was, “You bought new shoes?”
“Um, you mean during the last six months? Yes, Dustin, I did in fact buy a pair of shoes,” I said.
Then I quickly threw a terry cloth robe over the other seven pairs I had bought.
So you can see how deployments offer me opportunities, such as purchasing gas at the closest station possible, even if it isn’t the cheapest. Or decorating our house with something other than our children’s artwork. I admit that sometimes I go a little overboard, and our finances are more stable when Dustin is home. Still ...
GETTING WORK DONE
My days are stretched thin. Between work, the house, the kids and Dustin, I have very little time for myself. I finally get the kids to bed, and then there’s Dustin, waiting like a puppy at the foot of the stairs.
When I’m alone, I can get an amazing amount of work done at night. I can paint my toenails and watch cheesy TV movies. I can read in bed without the light keeping anyone awake.
But now that I think about it, when Dustin is away, the house is unbearably quiet after the boys are asleep. I clean the dishes and sit in my tidy living room all alone, missing my husband — faults and all — so bad that it hurts.
And it’s times like these that I remember, we might manage to make lemonade, but a lemon is still a lemon. And they all taste pretty sour.