Make the Most of Your Marriage
9 suggestions to rekindle the flame
by Michelle Cuthrell
So between your spouse’s last deployment, your FRG responsibilities and your children’s after school activities, marriage and romance are the last things on your mind.
But if they’re also the last things on your priority list, your marriage might be suffering.
“So many women tell me that they just don't have time for a date with their husband because of all the children's activities,” said Tracy Dougherty, an Army wife of more than 21 years who teaches the “Men are Like Waffles and Women are Like Spaghetti” marriage classes at Fort Lewis, Wash.
If your definition of “date night” consists of hot dogs on cold bleachers – in facilities on separate sides of town – consider these more romantic options to put your marriage back on track, all for under $20:
1. Be a tourist in your own town. Check out your local visitors’ bureau Web site and visit some of your town’s local claims to fame.
2. Take a romantic drive to nowhere for hours. Stop for pictures along the way.
3. Check out the community events section of your local newspaper and attend a free local concert or festival.
4. Hold an affirmation dinner party – and do it in your husband’s language. "Men equate love with respect,” said Anita Squires, an Army wife of 15 years who teaches the “Love and Respect” marriage class on Fort Lewis, Wash. “According to research, most men say they would rather live with a woman who respects them but does not love them than a woman who loves them but does not respect them.” Dress up and spend a romantic dinner out, taking turns listing the things you love and respect most about one another. It will meet both your inner need as a woman to feel loved AND his inner need as a man to feel respected.
5. Send the kids to the neighbor’s house and hold a child-free date at home. Make a romantic candlelit dinner and slow dance to your wedding song in your living room. Or don your sweats and hold the Wii match of death.
6. Enjoy a progressive fast food dinner to your favorite music in the car.
7. Take a distraction-free break in nature.
8. Pair up with another couple and compete in a city-wide scavenger hunt. Make the hunt list include ridiculous items like an Irish kilt or a picture of you with a man wearing a tutu. The competition and the ridiculousness will create a place for adventure, laughter and bonding.
9. Return to your dating life – to the things you did when you first fell in love. Play cards at that pizza joint you spent all your broke college kid days visiting, or play paintball and laser tag with all the other teenagers on a Friday night.
Prioritize your marriage by taking the time to “date” each other all over again.