Do Your Kids Need a Cell Phone?
by Anita Tedaldi
A six-year-old girl on my daughter’s swim team has a cell phone, which she proudly showcases to everyone who is willing to look at it. She’ll even allow you to play with her games, if you look admiringly at her new toy. This has created a negative buzz among other parents, who think that a six year old shouldn’t have a cell phone.
When another parent asked me when I thought my daughters would have a cell phone, I realized I hadn’t really thought about it. This parent went on to share the ages at which her two girls would be allowed to put on make up, go on dates, drive a car, even have plastic surgery. I wondered if I was clueless about girls’ “stages” and when exactly certain things are supposed to happen. Then, I thought a bit more, and realized that I know why I am not into planning these things: I am my mother’s daughter.
I grew up with few rules in my home in Rome, Italy.
My mom and dad gave me complete freedom, within the Italian boundaries of the law, until I did something wrong. I got a cell phone when I was a teen, I had a scooter when I was 14 years old, and my parents thought it was safe enough to let me ‘drive’ to dance class on my own. If I needed, or wanted, something, I got it. If I abused it, it was taken away. The bottom line was that I had to earn trust and responsibility.
My mom didn’t have a master plan or a spreadsheet with rules on it that told her when or how to give her daughters things, or how to set boundaries. But it worked for us.
Which brings me back to my little friend with the cell phone. Personally, I wouldn’t give my daughter, who is seven, a cell phone because she isn’t going anywhere without me, and because it’s not in our budget. But, I don’t really care to judge my little friend or her parents. It works for them, who am I to criticize? I haven’t walked in their shoes, so I don’t know why or how they came to their decision.
And if someone makes a mistake it's not my job to point it out. Some parents in the group commented that the cell phone is expensive and the girl is too young, but haven't we all spoiled our kids one time or another?
Plus, the truth is, I am coveting the six-year old’s phone. Sad, but true. It has way better features than mine and it’s a newer version. Maybe, I can convince her to swap my old black one for her new pink and shiny one. After all, we have the same provider.