Keeping in Touch with Far-Away Family

How to bridge the gap

by Toni Wilcox

Sandra Hepworth didn’t realize just how tightly knit her family was until she drove her newly married daughter, Terri, to the airport to join her soldier husband, Al Batschelet, in Germany.  “It didn’t hit me until Terri’s sister and I were on our way home that we wouldn’t be seeing her all the time,” Hepworth says.  More than two decades later, she has learned that it doesn’t take being together every day to stay close. 

TIPS FOR KEEPING IN TOUCH:

1. Anticipate some difficulties with family dynamics.  It could take awhile for your family to understand that they need to share attention with your spouse’s family.  You may need to ask both sets of grandparents to give you some time to bond as a family before they come to visit your new baby and the spouse you haven’t seen in six months.  Starting your own holiday traditions and visiting with family at a less stressful time of year is a good option.

2. Have realistic expectations.  If you travel, expect delays.  Whether you travel or not, don’t expect things to be perfect.  Your children and the cousins they loved last year may have to take some time to get to know one another again.

3. Don’t forget e-mail and phone plans with unlimited long distance.  They may not be able to use their thumbs to text-message at lightning speed, but tech-savvy grandparents have embraced e-mail and digital cameras.

4. Focus on the positive. With so many service members serving in hazardous places and families being subjected to long separations, it’s easy to forget the benefits of military life.  Hepworth fondly remembers a Christmas spent in Germany and a visit to the Pentagon.  “We’ve seen places we would never dream of visiting if Al weren’t in the Army.  It’s taken some extra work to spend time with the kids, but we’ve had wonderful experiences we wouldn’t trade for anything.”