Forgiveness

You have little to lose...

by Tranette Ledford

The events that bring the issue of forgiveness home to us can run the gamut. According to Webster, to forgive means to give up resentment. It sounds so simple. But we all know how difficult it is to do.  As one Army wife said after her son was repeatedly bullied and teased because of a birth defect, “Threading a needle is simple enough.  But thinking about forgiving those bullies is like telling me to thread it in the dark.”

We may be somewhat in the dark when it comes to understanding what forgiveness really requires. Understood literally, it means to give up resentment.  It says nothing about putting blame elsewhere, excusing anyone or coming up with a good defense to justify another’s actions.  In fact, it really has nothing to do with the offender or what the offender did.  Forgiveness is a choice we make solely for ourselves.

For some, forgiveness is spiritual, a sacrifice done in compliance with scripture and a vital part of personal faith.  For others, forgiveness is a moral issue, part of the natural give-and-take between human beings.

Scientists have been studying the correlation between physical health and forgiveness.  In one study by the Institute of Human Virology at the University of Maryland School of Medicine, researchers are looking at the power of forgiveness and the immune systems of patients with HIV.  Dr. Lydia Temoshok, the school’s professor of medicine and psychiatry and principal investigator of the study, believes that early results do suggest a strong connection.

These findings are echoed in other reports, such as Mid South Medical Center’s determination that harboring anger and resentment takes a toll on the body like other stresses.  Tension causes blood vessels to constrict and decreases the flow of blood, oxygen and other nutrients.  Forgiveness decreases tension which boosts our immune systems.  

Life is an emotional journey taken in a physical body.  It’s a process of learning and growing, solving and accepting problems, coping with and confronting conflicts, finding joy and cultivating peace.  And all the while, the body responds in all manner of ways.  Every one of us knows that in the course of this wonderful and sometimes difficult journey, we will continue to question whether we should forgive, whether we want to forgive, and whom to forgive.  And our bodies will likely respond to whatever we choose to do.

But the next time we’re faced with those questions, we can make more informed decisions.  The next time, we can think about the studies out there and the mounting evidence connecting forgiveness with better health.  We commonly take measures to improve our lives and our bodies.  We diet to lose weight, exercise to tone up and enroll in classes to improve our skills and connect with others. 

Maybe we should do our own experiments.  And try forgiving to see if it’s the relief we’ve been unable to find over the counter.  What do we have to lose?

Only resentment.