Is Flirting Innocent?

A few ways to find out.

by Anita Doberman

For some of us, having a spouse grab lunch with a flirty co-worker – or even just a member of the opposite sex – is unacceptable. For others it’s no big deal.

How do you know if your husband is flirting with someone at work?  He’s guilty about it, or acts like he should be.  A few giveaways:

·         He avoids describing people with gender specific pronouns. He uses “they” a lot and says things like “I was talking to this person at work.”  The more vague the language, the prettier she is.

·         He doesn’t tell you about going out to lunch during the workday, or acts overly nonchalant about things he does during the day.

·         When you meet the woman or man who flirts with him, either or both of them is overly nice and friendly to you.

Whenever I mention men’s weak self-control, my husband tells me that I’m crazy and that I shouldn’t worry about this kind of stuff - he never does. Of course not! I don’t have much adult interaction outside the McDonald’s drive-thru, and our pediatrician isn’t that good looking. Besides, NASA could more easily put a man on Mars than a mother of six manages the logistics of an affair.

If his flirting makes you feel bad, take my Italian advice on it. Be upfront, but be polite if you can and not emotionally charged.  There’s a good chance that what you see as threatening your husband sees as no big deal.  If you’re angry, he might have trouble seeing that you’re also right.