Five Friends You Need on Post
Personality types for your A-list of amigos.
by Heidi Smith Luedtke
To meet the challenges of military life with grace, humor and resilience, you’ve got to have friends. And while best friends are true treasures, no one friend can meet every need – not even your spouse. Your A-list of amigos should include these five personalities (and it wouldn’t hurt to get them all on speed dial):
The Know-It-All
Who would you call if you were one question away from a million dollars and had only one lifeline left? The Know-It-All is the friend who has the miracle recipe to get red wine out of white shag and spurts random knowledge about how dryer sheets can ward off mosquitoes. She won’t make you feel like an idiot for asking a question and doesn’t hesitate to share sage advice.
The Social Maven
When you feel like a fish out of water in your military community, you need an outgoing friend with real social savvy. A Social Maven knows who’s who and how you fit into your social circle, and she’ll happily introduce you around. Get hooked up with service providers (like a babysitter to stay with the kids while you get a pedicure from her favorite foot-fixer), programs (try book club or bunco), and new friends who will enhance the quality of your life.
The Peace Keeper
Your deployed spouse hasn’t emailed in days and you’re anxious and out-of-sorts. This stress-busting buddy gives you permission to be sad, scared or angry, even if listening to you vent isn’t all that much fun. The Peace Keeper brightens even the darkest day just by being there and showing you the silver lining – without demanding you morph into Pollyanna yourself. A Peace Keeper’s upbeat optimism is just what you need to regain a sense of calm.
The Mover and Shaker
Do you feel stuck, like you’re starring in your own reality show re-run day after day? If you’re tired of the comic drama that is your life, you need a Mover and Shaker to jolt you out of orbit and into a whole new dimension. This friend helps you see problems from a fresh perspective (maybe your mother-in-law really doesn’t have it in for you!) and encourages you to grow in new directions. You’d never try hot yoga or make homemade ravioli on your own, but a Mover and Shaker expands your world.
The Wise Mentor
When you’re overwhelmed by life’s demands, don’t reach for Ben & Jerry’s Chocolate Therapy. Save oodles of calories and call up another spouse who has been there and lived to tell about it. A Wise Mentor genuinely understands what you’re going through and is willing to share their experiences for your benefit – even if reminiscing brings back bad memories or paints a less-than-flattering picture of their own coping skills. When you learn she survived a solo cross-county PCS with twin toddlers and a car-sick cat, you’ll know you can do it, too.