Fighting Deployment “Groundhog Day"
How to avoid a deployment rut.
by Whitney Bailey
I’ve heard many service members refer to their deployment as “Groundhog Day.” They are referring to the classic Bill Murray movie in which he portrays a weatherman who experiences the same day, February 2, over and over again. For these service members, doing the exact same tasks each and every day starts to make them feel like they were reliving the same day over and over. And while this is a very real result of a deployment, the same thing may be happening to you as the spouse back home.
Wake up, get dressed, eat breakfast, go to work, come home, eat dinner, watch TV, go to bed. Wake up, get dressed, eat breakfast, go to work, come home, eat dinner, watch TV, go to bed. Day after day, the exact same routine. Whether you realize it or not, you may be falling into the Groundhog Day rut yourself. Whatever your routine, if one day’s activities don’t differ much from the next, this may be happening to you. At its best, this kind of life can simply be boring, and at its worse, it can be downright depressing.
So make a pledge to stand up and fight your routines! Don’t let your spouse’s deployment become your own little hell of repetition. Follow this advice and break out of the cycle.
Plan something once a week
My husband worked seven days a week, every single week, during his 12 month deployment. The weekdays bled into the weekends and he often called on a Saturday and asked why I wasn’t answering my phone at work. “It’s Saturday,” I’d reply.
“Whoops. I thought it was Thursday.” He said he thought of every day in terms of how long ago it had been since he’d gone to church. Sunday was the one day he did something different and that was attending church service. So Tuesday wasn’t Tuesday, it was two days after going to church.
Apply the same principle to your time during a deployment to fight the Groundhog Day blues. Pick just one thing to do each and every week, and try as hard as possible to always do it on the same day. This activity can be something as fundamental and necessary as grocery shopping or mowing the lawn, or enriching like church or a bible study. Maybe it’s just a relaxing two-mile walk with a friend, a cheap pedicure or a visit to your favorite bookstore.
Of course, the more you enjoy this activity, the more you’ll look forward to it. By the same principle, it always feels like something you dread comes around more often. Try scheduling one of your favorite activities on the same day as your least favorite activity and time will seem to fly! My favorite television show was on every Monday night, but I also loathed getting up for work on Mondays. Somehow, it seemed that my favorite show was always on!
Do something, anything, different
Do you always grocery shop at the same store, order the same pizza from the same place and always participate in casual Friday at work? While sometimes a routine can be great, it’s changing up the little things that can help you avoid Groundhog Day doldrums.
The grocery store just a mile further from my home than my regular one offers a wide variety of exotic fruits, has a cute little wine section and I bump into people there that I would never see at my other store. In addition to my normal groceries, I can pick up a new fruit to try and peruse the hopelessly expensive wine that I’ll never buy. Sure, it isn’t as convenient as the grocery store I can walk to, and it takes me twice as long to find the bread and milk, but it’s something different.
Try ordering pineapple pizza instead of pepperoni, wearing high heels and a dress on casual Friday, and buying your lunch once a week instead of brown bagging. As easy as it sounds, changing the small things really can make a big difference.
Every day really is a holiday
Most of us only celebrate a few holidays or special occasions a year, but why limit yourself to four or five? The anticipation of Christmas, the fun of Halloween or the excitement of New Year’s Eve can be had on a regular basis, just on a smaller scale. Each and every day, someone is celebrating something. So why miss out on all the fun?
Pull out your calendar and mark one or two fun holidays for every month. You can find real ones on the Internet (February 15 is “National Gum Drop Day,” March 5 is “Learn What Your Name Means Day”), or you can make up your own. I think April 30 should be “Chocolate at Every Meal Day.” Plan something fun to do that day that’s in keeping with that particular holiday’s spirit. Like making pancakes on March 15’s “Maple Syrup Day” or playing croquet on June 14 which is – you guessed it – “Croquet Day.”
If crazy holidays just aren’t your thing, try planning your own regular activities like they’re a special occasion. If you always dye eggs for Easter, try marking the calendar a few months ahead of time in anticipation. Plant flowers and mark your calendar for when you expect the first ones to bloom.
Scheduling a new holiday or an occasion is also a great way come up with unique and interesting ways to pass the time while your spouse is deployed. He may think you’re a little nuts when he returns and sees you’ve marked “National Underwear Day” (August 13) on the calendar. You can just assure him it was worth it, to avoid celebrating yet another dreaded Groundhog Day.
Note: Groundhog Day, or Groundhog’s Day is celebrated on February 2 in the United States. On this day, if a groundhog emerges from its burrow and fails to see its shadow, winter will soon end. If the little woodchuck does, however, see its shadow, it will return to the burrow for six more weeks of winter.