Deployment as a First-time Mom
A new spouse’s story of her first deployment.
by Ashley Gomez
Babe, you have a letter in the mail; it’s from the unit,” my husband said.
Oh Lord, this cannot be good. I can just feel it in my bones. There is only one reason why the unit would contact me – another deployment.
“What does it say?” I quickly responded.
“Oh, it’s an invitation for a pre-deployment family readiness meeting. It’s the usual stuff – you know, TRICARE, wills, and power of attorney.”
“Oh…”
My heart sinks when I read this “invitation.” Are the guys deploying? Is it that time again? Granted, rumors have been flying around, but nothing had been “set in stone.” I guess I was still hanging on to a little glimmer of hope that the unit would not deploy. I mean, wouldn’t you if you were eight and a half months pregnant and a first-time mom? If there is one thing I have learned about being a military wife, it is that there is no room for selfishness. I usually have the “suck it up, Buttercup” attitude, but this time it is different; I am scared.
The time comes for the meeting and my parents drive me down to the Coast Guard Station where our drill center is located. The Marines are gone for annual training, so my husband is unable to attend the meeting with me. It feels so weird coming here without my husband. My palms begin to sweat as I flash my ID to the sentry. I was a fiancée during the last deployment, so I did not have much responsibility then. In the 10 years that my husband has been in the Marine Corps, my father-in-law has always been the next-of-kin, but not anymore – now I am. I don’t know the first thing about our assets – I don’t even look at the bills. How am I supposed to do this? I don’t want to do this.
I walk into the drill center with my parents by my side. I make my way around the building, greeting familiar faces and introducing myself to the new ones. Many Marines have come and gone since out last “get together.” Since this is a Reserve unit, the wives and families maybe see each other three to four times a year. It is hard to keep up with everyone since we live in different towns, and some even live out of state. I can see the nervousness in the faces of the parents and wives. Everyone is asking the same question, “Are they or aren’t they? When will we find out if they are leaving?”
I immediately notice the amount of pregnant wives in attendance. It made me wonder if all these Marines knew they were leaving and knocked us up for a pre-deployment “gift.” It is odd how these things turn out. There is either a wave of weddings or a wave of babies immediately before or after a deployment. It never fails. I must admit that I was a little comforted to see that I wouldn’t be alone on this new journey. Deployments are tough enough, but throw in motherhood and the “toughness” multiplies. Well, at least I think it will.
I know that thousands of military wives, both active duty and Reserve, have trekked this journey before me. I will not be the first or the last wife to endure a deployment as a first-time mom, but I am scared and nervous nonetheless. This deployment I will have a small baby girl. She will need me to be strong and brave, so I must face this deployment and take it on differently than the last one. It isn’t just about me anymore; it is about us, our family as a whole. How I react not only affects my child, but my husband who is away. We have the power to make or break our husbands while they are deployed. He trusts me to “man the fort” and take care of business while he is gone. I cannot let him down. I must be strong. I can do this; I will do this.