Children and Deployment
Preparing your kids.
by Jennifer Morrow
Military deployment is hard on all family members. A wife understands why their loved one is leaving, but children do not always accept the situation. It is important to keep an open line of communication with children and let them know they can always talk to you. Deployment can be very scary and anything a parent can do to prepare your child is beneficial.
Visual measurement
After preparing a child for deployment the hardest part begins – living through the deployment. A few ideas have been around for years and help give children a visual measurement of the duration of the deployment.
One is to make a paper chain, with a link for each day of the deployment. Each day the child tears off a link and is one day closer to his parent’s return.
Another is to fill a jar with a candy kiss for each day. The child then gets a “kiss” each day from her deployed parent. The problem with these ideas is the uncertainty of an exact return date.
A personal way for a child to pass the time is to make a calendar with the deploying parent ahead of time. They can even make two so each one has the special keepsake. Child and parent can take pictures together and create a calendar to keep track of the deployment.
Older children can keep an online blog of their daily thoughts and activities and the deployed parent (if they have Internet access) can read the blog and add their own feelings. It is a personal way for the two to stay in touch.
Seek out ways to stay in touch
There are services to assist families during deployments. The Family Support Center on bases provides programs, such as Hearts Apart, to help families affected by deployment. They provide phone calls, phone cards, support groups and outings. It also helps to have camaraderie among others in the same situation. A wonderful organization called United Through Reading, www.unitedthroughreading.org, provides a service for deployed service members to read a book aloud on video. They can then send this video to their children. Another way to stay in touch is to send old fashion care packages. A box of love from home can lift the service member’s spirits and is yet another way for children to stay connected.
Coming home suggestions
A very important part of deployment that cannot be overlooked is the welcome home celebration! It will be a bit strange for everyone when the service member returns, but the adjustment can be made a bit easier with some preplanning.
The child can plan a special outing for the family and some favorite activities to do. Prepare the child for the return by explaining that their parent will need some quiet time to enjoy being home. A special family dinner can be cooked at home including all the service members’ favorite foods.
No matter what the activity, it is important for everyone to get back into a routine as soon as possible. It will be hard for the child to go from one parent back to two and for the service member to return to daily parenting duties. Upon return, the line of communication between child and parent needs to stay open. The child may have questions and need to talk about their feelings. With preplanning and a lot of support, a deployment can be made a bit smoother for all involved.