Being a Single Mom
Things to do.
by Renee Raab Whitcombe
There are times when military life inevitably leads to the role of sort-of-single mom. So instead of spilling your guts to a phone solicitor, try these fresh and inexpensive weekend tips:
1. Plan a day trip adventure. Research what’s going on within 50 miles of your home. Do something unique, or that you’ve been meaning to do, and don’t be afraid to be gone all day. This can include: apple picking, taking in a minor league sports event, cooking classes for the whole family, a challenging hike, renting canoes, a trip to a planetarium, or joining a community service event. Of course, don’t forget to bring a fully stocked cooler, changes of clothing and some chill-out CDs for the ride.
2. Put the non-essential chores aside for 48 hours. Resist the temptation to “get ahead on the household” since you’re not going out on a Saturday night. Use the time you would have devoted to chores for pampering yourself, including a home pedicure, facial mud mask or deep conditioning your hair. Aim to feel (and look) refreshed, not spent.
3. Be A.H.O.V. (At Home on Vacation) with your kids. Talk to your kids about how some of the normal rules will not apply until Monday morning. (Be specific, and stay true to your word about what you will let slide). Eat dinner for breakfast and breakfast for dinner. Let the kids sleep in their clothes or trade beds with each other. Make popcorn and watch old home videos. Eat a breakfast picnic in bed – with the whole family.
4. Be a kid with your kids (kind of). Allow yourself to be a “passenger” and not always the “driver”; it’s liberating to let go of the decision-making and just follow. Be silly and giggle with the kids. Play board games and cards and that old whispering game Telephone. Tell them stories about your childhood and share a few old secrets. Have a talent show at home. Take turns giving back massages. Let the kids put on a fashion show to music … in your clothing!
5. Sing Dad’s praises! Talk about why you all miss him, and why he’s so great. Later, you can e-mail or tell your husband the choice quotes and tuck the notes away so they will never be forgotten. Added bonus: wards off resentment about shouldering 100 percent of the parenting responsibility.
6. Ask for help if you need it. Depending on the ages and stages of your children, full-time on-duty parenting can be overwhelming. This is nothing to be ashamed of! Get the pre-teen next door to do some Mother’s Helper time. Co-op some play dates, cooking or grocery shopping with other sort-of-single moms. Allow Grandma to lighten your load, and steal off to an afternoon movie matinee, bike ride or yoga class. Everybody wins when Mom is rejuvenated.
7. Start planning a weekend away for yourself – alone or with a friend – and know you deserve it.